Marriage is a big commitment. There will be moments when you doubt whether you have chosen the right life partner.
Whether a recent controversy clouds your judgment or you think you’ve made the right choice, this article will clear up any doubts you may have! Let’s jump right in:
Signs you married the right person
The truth is that “time” has a powerful effect on marriage. The longer the marriage lasts, the stronger or weaker the spark.
In most cases, it is not because of love but rather understanding and a sense of responsibility (between the couple) to live together. This is because love fluctuates, especially when things are not going well in the marriage.
Now you can have a hell of a time in that marriage. You find yourself struggling with one challenge after another. And so you are lost in a state of awe that can only be compared to an alien world.
If so, the question that may be on your mind is, “Did I marry the right person, or was it a terrible mistake?”
Well, fear not. To answer this question, here are 12 signs that you married the right person:
1. They make you feel safe
Marriage is more than just a wedding. Marriage is about building a life with someone. With this comes the need for security.
If you married the right person, you should feel:
- As you can be helpless around, you can reveal. Perhaps he keeps something private from others in his life
- No chat is unlimited; you don’t hesitate to challenge your partner or discuss those “tough” topics
- Have enough confidence to do your job; the hips don’t have to be connected all the time
- You can trust your partner and vice versa; you know your spouse will not let you down in your time of need
But ultimately, you’ll know you’re in a secure marriage if your spouse is your place of comfort and not a source of stress!
Are they the person you look forward to seeing at the end of a hard day at work? Are they someone you can be 100% yourself with no judgment? If so, it seems that you have made the right choice!
2. Your fight is constructive
Now, just because you’re married doesn’t mean you won’t have fights from time to time. The truth is controversy is a good thing.
It makes you both care enough to go crazy and want to make a change!
But the real point is that you argue. Most importantly, how to resolve the dispute. If you marry the right person, your cases should be:
- Resolve sooner rather than later (i.e., not spending days ignoring each other or brushing issues under the rug)
- Stay pretty “clean” (i.e., both of you refrain from being disrespectful, rude, or threatening)
- Focus on finding a solution (it works for EACH of you and makes the relationship better)
If your spouse spends a long time in the marriage, a fight is inevitable. But if you both do your best to fight constructively and overcome your issues TOGETHER, my friend, you’re on to a winner.
Even seemingly perfect couples fight behind closed doors. The difference between unhealthy and healthy relationships is that fights shouldn’t be about who is right. They should be more productive.
It means listening to each other, understanding and respecting each other’s points of view, and finding common ground to strengthen your marriage. And please call it a fight.
Don’t say, “We never have conversations; we have discussions.” Fighting doesn’t mean throwing insults or getting physical. No! Of course, you debate, it’s a battle, but you can and should fight fair.
And now, perhaps, there is a reason why your struggles have ended rather than ending in destruction…
3. You have similar life values
If you don’t, it’s a straightforward recipe for disaster!
A common misconception about choosing a life partner is that it’s all about love. Love is essential, but having the same values makes a marriage last.
Do you and your partner want the same kind of future? Have you agreed on whether or not you want children? If so, do you decide on parenting? But do you decide on financial matters? Are your religious beliefs compatible?
Here’s something like this:
You don’t have to agree with your spouse on everything. You may have different goals and aspirations. That’s good too.
But your values must coincide. For big things, you need to be on the same page.
Relationship coach Fran Green explains to EliteDaily:
“Shared values keep you together during difficult times and will bring you joy during the high points of your relationship. Although values can be tweaked, they cannot be changed. They define who you are. Couples must share similar values. Otherwise, they will live in perpetual disappointment and resentment.”
4. You support each other
Do you feel supported in your decisions?
Support is another critical element of marriage – your spouse should have your back when the whole world is against you.
As Joseph Nolan explains for TheHealthyMarriage:
“By supporting each other, you’re not only showing your spouse that you care about them, but you’re also investing in your marriage. When you support each other, you’re saying, “I want this marriage to be healthy. I’m willing to put in the effort to make it happen. You matter to me!”
As Nolan explains, that doesn’t always mean you agree with everything your partner sees.
Sometimes I don’t want to accept my husband’s decision.
Even though I felt safe enough to let him know I had my doubts, he still felt safe supporting me no matter what (as long as it wasn’t harmful to either of us).
Ultimately, if your partner is there for you, rooting for you and encouraging you to follow your dreams, you’ve picked a pretty awesome partner!
5. You enjoy their shirk
Do you like being surrounded by your spouse?
Marriage does not mean being a serious and responsible person. It’s also about having fun. You will potentially spend the rest of your life with this person. It is important to like them!
But still, that doesn’t mean you enjoyed doing the same things. My husband plays poker, and I rarely manage to put together a pack of cards.
I love horror movies; he tends to hide behind the pillow the whole time. But we both try to please others. And, of course, we have commonalities like travel, cats, and good food!
If you’re looking forward to spending time with your spouse, I’d say you’ve married the right person. But there’s more to just spending quality time together. This brings me to my next point…
6. You also enjoy spending time alone
They should respect your time apart if you’re married to the right person.
Psychologists Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, Ph.D. As explained for PsychologyToday:
“Marriages also benefit when spouses have time for themselves, either to their interests or just to real-time, allows us to maintain our identities, provides opportunities to do things we like to do, and lets us feel like we have some control over our lives. Alone time can help to keep a relationship fresh and less stressful.”
As you can see, personal time isn’t about avoiding marriage or your spouse; it’s about reconnecting with yourself.
It can be as simple as:
- Hanging out with friends (without your spouse around)
- Go for a run by yourself
- Being able to sit with your book in another room at home is not a worry
And if your spouse understands the importance of this and even encourages it, it is a sign that you have chosen a great spouse!
While enjoying spending time together, you also need to live separate lives. If he goes to soccer games with his best friends, you don’t have a problem. He has no problem with you going to a concert with your friends.
Being married doesn’t mean you have to spend time together 24/7 and have separate interests and hobbies. In a healthy relationship, you understand and respect that you need time apart to do what you want.
I found in my marriage that we didn’t start to appreciate it until after the honeymoon phase.
7. Both of you have compromised
You’ve probably heard it many times before – compromise is critical to any successful relationship.
So, how does the rebate work, and why is it so important?
Well, here’s an example I came across recently:
My husband wanted to invite his mother and his wife to dinner last weekend. I told him I wanted to spend the weekend without guests because I had a lot of work.
But instead of being upset that he invited my mother over, I decided to compromise.
“I had a great weekend, but why don’t we invite him to tea on a weekday afternoon?”
What will be the result of this?
I had a happy husband, an even happier mother-in-law, and a house to work on for the weekend!
You are giving in shows the other person that you care about what they want. This does not mean that you should completely abandon your plans.
But you work together to find a way out that works for both of you.
After all, marriage is about being a team!
8. You can laugh together
This is the super important thing. Can you laugh with your spouse?
I don’t mean the odd whine here and there when a comedian is on TV.
I mean the rolling-on-the-floor, gasping-for-breath, laughing kind! You know, when just one look sends you back into the gutter…
Don’t get me wrong; people don’t spend their entire marriages kicking. There is always a time and place.
But having a good laugh with your spouse is a must.
Let’s face it – life can be pretty dark at times. And there should be someone who can lighten difficult situations and put a smile on your face!
So if you can laugh your way through life with your spouse, it will keep your stomach healthy, and your mental health will benefit from all the dopamine, oxytocin, and feel-good endorphins!
9. You encourage each other to grow
But while it’s okay to joke around once in a while, one thing your spouse shouldn’t neglect is your personal growth.
Here are a few crucial questions you need to ask yourself:
- Does your spouse encourage you to grow and be the best you can be?
- Do they enable you to follow your dreams and believe in yourself?
- Does your spouse support you as you try to heal old traumas and embrace self-mastery?
If they don’t… I’m sorry to say that you may be marrying the wrong person. But if they do, wow, you’re in luck there! As you can see, personal growth is significant in marriage.
This should strengthen your relationship with your spouse.
No matter how much time you have to spend improving your family, it would be best if you also spent time improving yourself. It breaks couples out of toxic communication cycles and habits. This is what makes for a successful, long-term relationship!
10. You are considerate of each other
The last sign that you are married to the right person is if they notice your needs.
- But give you enough attention? (They don’t touch their phones during conversations)
- Ask questions. (For example, how was your day? How was the meeting? Did you enjoy seeing that old friend?)
- How do you approach your interest records? (Do they make an effort even if they don’t personally care for them?)
Remember the things that were special to you? (like something you might feel emotional about or like to record)
Well, you married this person because they make you feel special. They pay attention to details that others may overlook.
They sincerely want to know how you are and if you wish to have a good time.
If this is still the case, something good has happened in your marriage. Now, get off the internet and go and enjoy your relationship with your spouse!
But what if you read these signs and none of them can be replicated with you and your spouse?
11. They seek knowledge
Your spouse “doesn’t need to be a Mensa member or a math genius, but look for enough intelligence that you can respect and admire each other. There are several types of intelligence, from schooling to independent study through reading, working, traveling, and life experiences.
Someone who’s only perceived as an “airhead” or someone who looks good and can be fun to play with won’t hold your interest for long. The right person is constantly seeking knowledge and is interested in learning and intellectual development.
12. You never hesitate to ask for help
Asking for help is by no means a sign of weakness. When you ask your spouse for advice or service, you are respecting and acknowledging that they have more experience and skills in an area that you are not as familiar with.
But what if you married the wrong person?
If you’re sitting there wishing the above points were valid for your marriage, that’s a good indicator that you’re not married to the right person. But before you go down a dark hole and start contacting divorce attorneys, take a deep breath and consider this:
No marriage has everything.
In my marriage, there are times when we laugh together and times when we don’t. Tense or tense past.
The same goes for support – for the most part, we’ve been very supportive, but there have been times when one of us missed the mark.
What is important to me?
If you genuinely love your spouse and truly love you, then hope remains! We cannot expect perfection from our spouses. But if they do their best, you might not want to give up just yet…
Pay attention to marriage tips. Maybe you need tools to navigate the ups and downs of marriage better. With the help of a professional, turning the “wrong” spouse into the “right” one for you can go a long way!
But what if your doubts run even more profound?
Maybe it’s time to accept that you’re not married to the right person.
do you know
It may seem like the end of the world right now.
But with the proper support, you can move forward and find love again. As we can see from the points above, it is worth doing!