Have you ever been surrounded by people who talk a lot? They always seem to dominate the conversation and interrupt others when they speak.
But communicating with a person who talks too much creates something unpleasant. Even introverts like to speak at a particular time during a conversation. But it is difficult to say a foreign word with a person who talks a lot.
Of course, this does not mean that extroverts and others who enjoy conversation have ulterior motives. They may not even realize how their behavior affects others. Gabby people sometimes have low emotional intelligence, which makes it difficult to read social cues. A low EQ doesn’t make them terrible people but can hinder social skills.
For example, if someone turns away from them or takes out their phone during a conversation, they won’t even notice. However, this behavior means that the person is annoyed or interrupted by the speaker.
Below, we’ll take a deeper look at why some people talk too much and how to address this behavior.
Psychology explains why some people talk too much.
1. They may have ADHD or ADD.
A person who talks a lot may have a mental illness like ADHD. Characterized by hyperactivity and restlessness, this disorder can also lead to excessive energy release.
Many people with ADD do not mean to interrupt others; they may feel excited or agitated. Also, people with ADHD have a million thoughts going through their heads at once. Therefore, talking can be distracting.
Research shows that there is a clear connection between hyperactivity and excessive talking. According to a study of 99 children with and without ADHD, these behaviors can begin early. Studies have shown that hyperactive children tend to talk more than others. Too much arguing creates problems with their classmates, and in some cases, they have difficulty learning.
Adults with ADHD may show similar symptoms in social situations. They may talk too much because they are too worried or excited. Or maybe they want to feel included in the conversation and make their voice heard. People with ADHD usually don’t like to be quiet and avoid discomfort by overdoing it.
2. Having Asperger’s or autism can make them talk too much.
Although many people on the autism spectrum are on the quieter side, they can talk for hours about a topic that interests them.
Maybe they don’t understand when someone doesn’t share that interest because they struggle with non-standard cues. It’s hard to read body language and know when to end a conversation. According to the Autism Research Institute, common social symptoms of adult-onset autism include:
- Involuntary social wrongdoers
- Conversations are hard to follow
- Lack of emotional expression
- Difficulties in social situations
- Difficulty detecting sarcasm or figurative language – takes everything literally
- Remembers small details such as facts or names
3. They feel insecure.
Sometimes people talk too much to make themselves feel unnecessary or uncomfortable. They want to influence others, which helps them to increase their self-confidence.
For example, they may embellish stories to make themselves appear more attractive. Or, they may promise a joke to gain popularity and make sure no one forgets them.
If someone feels uncomfortable or lacking, they may seek external validation. When socializing, it becomes more about proving themselves than having a good time. However, people with low self-esteem sometimes avoid social situations entirely, especially if they’ve had negative experiences.
4. Silence makes them uncomfortable.
Sometimes people talk too much to fill the gaps in the conversation. Maybe they don’t like to be silent because it makes them anxious and agitated. Or, perhaps, they think the other person will lose interest if they don’t always have something to say.
Silence is inevitable during a conversation because people need time to process the speaker’s words. However, a person who talks too much during a conversation may feel insecure.
5. They have narcissistic personality traits.
Perhaps their personalities cannot be completely broken, but talking too much can indicate a degree of narcissism.
Narcissistic types secretly have fragile self-esteem, so they compensate by acting more confident than they feel. They also want to control the conversation by constantly focusing on them. While most people like to talk about themselves, fans take it to extremes.
6. People who talk a lot can feel lonely.
A person who talks a lot may not have much opportunity to communicate. Because they feel lonely, they may hold hands or overdo things to force close contact with each other.
Although they deserve a friend like everyone else, they may not realize that their behavior alienates people. Usually, getting to know someone happens gradually, so desperation can send a potential friend running in the opposite direction.
Tips for dealing with someone who talks a lot
If you have friends or family members who are overly friendly, this can frustrate you. But these tips can make conversations more enjoyable:
- Be patient. It would help if you were compassionate, especially regarding a person with a mental disorder. Try to see things from your point of view and remember that they are not intentional.
- Let them know how you feel. Perhaps you should be direct and specific if your friend often talks too quickly. Maybe they don’t understand how it affects you, so they can encourage them to change.
- Could you stay away from them? Sometimes it’s better to let the relationship go than to force the friendship. If conversations always seem one-sided, you’re probably not getting much out of the relationship.
Some final words on why some people talk so much
Everyone communicates differently depending on their personality, circle of friends, and interests. But when someone talks too much, it can make the interaction or conversation more interesting.
Most friendly people don’t realize that their behavior bothers others and that maybe their personality is different from others. They may have mental disorders that affect their social skills or make them feel uncomfortable being silent. They may also suffer from low self-esteem and talk too much about themselves.
Whatever the reason, people who talk excessively still deserve compassion and understanding. With patience and honesty, it is possible to have a satisfying relationship with a talkative person.