Do you feel like your boyfriend is always angry with you? Do you get angry even when you think you have done nothing wrong?
You are not alone. Many women experience the same thing, which can affect their mental health, leaving you wondering if you’re the problem.
The first thing you need to know is that it’s not normal for your partner to be mad and always be angry at yous for not healthy behavior and something you both need to work on or walk away from.
It would help if you didn’t put up with him being an emotional punching bag, especially when you’re not doing anything.
You need to figure out why this is happening and if there is anything that can be done to stop this behavior pattern.
Here are 15 possible reasons why your boyfriend is mad at you for everything
1. The honeymoon phase is over
The honeymoon phase usually lasts 6-18 months. The love chemicals are wearing off, and you are now showing each other your true colors.
Maybe this phase in your relationship is over… and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. This does not mean that the relationship will end soon. It’s just that now you two are accurate for each other.
The fact that your boyfriend is mad at you all the time may be the same as he always has been since birth, and it has nothing to do with you or what you’ve done.
You’re now seeing the real him – plain and simple.
2. He has bad examples growing up
We can do our best to be the opposite of our toxic father, mother, or uncle, but we will still carry parts of them inside us.
They may have anger management issues because of genetics or because they see it as usual in a relationship. And there is no control over it – it tends to reflect them!
Habits are not easy to learn and change, especially if they are ingrained in us since childhood.
If you know, you grew up in a toxic family, be patient. But he must be able to admit his behavior when it happens. Thus, a person can disrupt circulation.
3. He is not satisfied with his life right now
An apparent reason why your boyfriend is always angry with you is that he is not happy. It could be unfulfilled work, annoying parents, or anything like just being “off” for no reason.
It is difficult to be angry all the time if one is happy. It’s almost impossible. Tell a person that their toilet broke after they just received a prize or won the lottery, and they don’t care.
But say the same thing to someone who is generally unhappy with their life, and it triggers all kinds of emotions, mostly anger and frustration.
4. He feels like he’s doing the heavy lifting in the relationship
He drives, he cleans, he plans the dates, and most of your expenses come out of his pocket. Because of this, he may develop some resentment towards you, even if he doesn’t tell you about it openly.
This resentment will show when he gets angry with you for not locking the door properly or for not responding to his messages when you are online.
Part of him hates that he feels this way, and sometimes he doesn’t even know why, but he can’t help himself.
He feels that he is doing everything and you are doing nothing, which makes his blood boil.
5. He wants everything to go his way
He wants you to be a submissive girlfriend—someone who isn’t pleasant, someone who lets him control you. But you are not that kind of woman.
Some immature men are offended when their girlfriends “question” their opinions and decisions. And maybe that’s why he barks at you when he senses you won’t agree with him.
If you feel like this is your boyfriend, you better ask yourself if it’s worth it.
Some couples can soothe better! – so you have to ask yourself if you love him enough to work on his behavior.
6. You have fought over the same things
It’s never okay for your boyfriend to be mad at you for everything. You should sit him down and talk about it to see if there is any problem on his end, but also think about whether you are changing something in the relationship.
Maybe you’ve taken up a new hobby, spent more time at work, or focused on something else that took your attention away from your relationship.
Maybe he’s having a hard time dealing with it and maybe upset that you’re not spending as much time with him as you usually do.
While this doesn’t necessarily mean he’s mad at you for everything, he doesn’t know how to express his feelings for you. You must push him to explain why he acts the way he does.
7. You are together 24/7
Familiarity breeds hatred. Too much unity leads to boredom. Seriously, it’s not healthy to be together all the time!
These are hard truths that every couple should know. When you’re always around each other, it’s impossible not to get annoyed with each other.
This is the reason why there are so many divorces during the pandemic. The sound of their breathing in your ear or how they brush their teeth can turn you on.
This is normal. And the solution is easy. Avoid each other’s company from time to time.
8. He is naturally ungrateful
There are just some ungrateful people. They are also usually cynical in life and complain a lot about everything. Again, that’s precisely what he is.
You didn’t notice this at the beginning of the relationship because he is sweet and loving towards you. But there were signs, no doubt! Maybe he’s impatient with the taxi driver or the people in front of him in the grocery line.
Maybe he complains a lot about how his parents suck, how his friends suck, and how the world sucks. Now that he is more comfortable in your relationship, he also starts complaining about you.
It’s just his personality.
I want to get her hopes up by saying, “You can change her,” but I’d instead manage her expectations by saying that she’s more or less the way she is, and if you love her, you have to accept that part of her.
And, of course, there is therapy. Maybe offer it to him out of love (and pray that he doesn’t get mad at you for providing it).
9. He likes to make you feel bad
Alain de Botton made a video about why we hurt the people we love. That said, it’s usually not malicious, but because we’re pretty secure in relationships, we make sure they don’t leave us if we’re not doing very well.
Your boyfriend may feign kindness to his boss because he has to, but this excessive anger can be blamed on you.
Well, that’s unfair. It would help if you showed him that you are not a garbage can for negative feelings. It’s easy to feel hurt and helpless when faced with an angry boyfriend. You may even be tempted to throw in the towel and give up on love.
I want to suggest doing something different.
This is something I learned from world-renowned shaman Ruda Iandê. She taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
As Ruda explains in this free video, many of us pursue love toxically because we haven’t been taught to love ourselves first.
So, if you want to address your toxic dynamic, I recommend starting with yourself and taking Ruda’s excellent advice.
10. He is sure that you will not leave him
In every relationship, there is someone who has more power. Maybe he is sure you won’t leave him because he knows how obsessed you are with him.
Or maybe he knows you don’t have a place to stay because you’re broke. Or because he knows you’re insecure and you don’t think anyone else will like you.
Show a man, or anyone, that they have power over you and will be quick to abuse it. Even those who do not directly use you will not refrain from their bad behavior because they know that you will never leave them.
11. He thinks you’re annoying him on purpose
Some couples always argue and fight, even insult each other, but still love each other deeply.
That’s what they are.
Maybe your boyfriend thinks you are annoying him on purpose, which is why he is angry with you. He thinks you’re always trying to push his buttons for your pleasure because you know he has a short fuse.
He thinks you are doing it for your own pleasure, making him angry with you.
12. He is very insecure
If you’re living with an insecure boyfriend, anything you say can be seen as an “attack” on his existence. You joke about his hobbies (in the most loving way possible), and he touches you. He thinks you’re insulting his ability as a person!
Your comment on how you love his steak is a little salty, and he says, “Fine, cook your own then.”
You are constantly walking on eggshells when you have an insecure boyfriend. He always feels that you are disrespecting him.
Before you burn yourself out, let me assure you: it’s not you, it’s him!
13. He starts to lose his feelings for you
This is usually not the case, so don’t panic!
But sometimes, if a partner starts to get angry when he is ver patient and sweet, it is because of falling out of love.
They don’t know how to deal with “not feeling anything” towards others, so they prefer to stir emotions by starting fights. At least there is something.
They think passion = love, even the poisonous kind. If you notice other signs that he is falling for you, address them calmly before it’s too late.
14. Your values don’t match
It could be as simple as your values and beliefs not aligning or clashing.
For example, if you’re a feminist and he’s an anti-feminist, you will have a hair trigger. When you say something to defend your side, he may feel the need to fight for his side.
Ideally, conflicts like these are best brought up when you’re still getting to know each other, but there are times when they don’t come up until you’re dating or even married.
And then, he will think about whether he should try to put aside his beliefs for your sake or break up with you. This puts more stress on him, which would explain why he’s always mad.
15. You let him treat you badly
I know you shouldn’t be blamed for this because it’s always your boyfriend who gets upset. But you also have a small contribution to this behavior.
Don’t expect him to change if you let your boyfriend get mad at you all the time (which means you act regular and relaxed like it’s natural). Expect him to behave worse.
How to make things better
• Get proper guidance from an expert
While this article explores the main reasons why your boyfriend is always angry with you, it may be helpful to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.
Relationships are full of emotional tension, and this tension can make it difficult to see things as objectively as you would like.
I’ve always been skeptical of outside help – that’s my attitude, not theirs – but after consulting with a professional, I changed my mind. They are the reason my relationship has improved dramatically.
Relationship Hero is the best resource I’ve found for love coaches who don’t talk. They have seen it all and know how to help you with tough questions like why your boyfriend is mad at you.
I tried them last year when I was going through a crisis in my love life. I found a coach who was kind to me, took the time to listen and understand my situation, and gave me advice that took into account my case.
You can’t get personalized advice from articles like this – without knowing your specific circumstances, the best I can do is paint in relatively broad strokes.
• Be patient, but be sure not to allow this type of treatment again.
You can listen to advise for days, but it won’t do any good if you don’t confront your boyfriend about it.
So try to take time to discuss the problem with your lover. He will be stubborn; he will resist. Therefore, you should try to be patient, calm, and firm.
Describe what he did to you and then ask him to stop treating you like that.
Make sure that if he doesn’t do what you ask, there will be consequences, such as breaking up with him, and you’re ready to see those consequences.
• Listen to his side with an open mind
Put yourself in his shoes and see where he’s coming from. Give your partner a chance to say whatever needs to be told without interrupting. That way, you’ll hear his thoughts and feelings about the situation.
If you have any questions, ask him after he’s done. For now, actively listen and do your best to see things from her perspective.
If you interrupt her or jump in to defend yourself before she has a chance to say her side, she’ll probably think you’re not interested in what she has to say.
• Work on root causes
Just asking him to stop being mad at you all the time isn’t enough. He can certainly try to bring it down. But if you don’t deal with the root causes of his anger, it’s guaranteed he’ll be angry with you again.
So it would help to ask him what happened and what made him treat you this way. Admit that you may not be completely innocent. But at the same time, don’t lower yourself to please him.
For example, if you’ve been neglecting her, you can do better and try to give her as much attention as you can.
But if his anger is simply because he wants to be the “master” of the relationship and he doesn’t like his daughter not being submissive, he needs to work on his issues.
Final words on why your boyfriend gets mad at you for everything
It’s not easy being in a relationship with someone who’s always mad at you or so on edge that one wrong move feels like they’re going to set off a mine.
But where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and you can always try pouring water on that fire.
Sometimes you may need help, and there are times when the problems are too much, and you have no choice but to leave. But most of the time, the problem can be easily solved with proper guidance and open communication. After all, no relationship is without problems.