Being loved and showered with care are what everyone dreams of when it comes to relationships. But what happens when all the attention is overwhelming and too much to handle? Although love is a beautiful feeling that makes your heart skip a beat, some people use this emotion to exploit people for their gain. This is called love bombing.
Being swept off your feet can be fun and exciting when you first meet someone. When you’re beginning a new relationship, having someone shower you with love and admiration is fascinating.
Love bombing is another story. It occurs when someone overwhelms you with loving words, actions, and behaviors as a manipulative technique.
Although it’s not always easy to tell at first, you’ll soon be able to know if your partner is genuinely in love with you or if they’re using you to further their agenda. Because love bombing is a relatively new term, you may not fully understand it. It just means that someone is manipulating your feelings.
Manipulation is getting you to change or do something they want you to do. At first, those behind these intentions are visible in many things. But you will soon learn they bring you under their spell for selfish purposes. Ironically, it directly affects your hormones when used and manipulated in this way.
The manipulator wants you to feel valued and appreciated, so they work overtime to accomplish this task. Your brain loves the feeling of being loved and desired, so it will release endorphins to flood your feel-good receptors. Please make no mistake; it will only be a matter of time before we know the truth. Sometimes it is too late.
Once lured into their webs, it can be challenging to break free. Relationships are all figments of your imagination. The feelings you developed weren’t real because you were a pawn in a sick and twisted game.
Why is the love bombing so dangerous?
Love bombing can be especially dangerous because it is often difficult to detect. After all, we all know the belief that new relationships often feel glamorous and euphoric. Additionally, research shows that falling in love releases feel-good hormones like serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine, and norepinephrine.3
As a result, it is difficult to distinguish the dizzying feeling of falling in love from a love bomb. We all want to enjoy the novelty of a new relationship. Therefore, it is essential to understand the critical warning signs before being exposed to other elements of abuse.
Ten telltale signs of love bombing
The signs of love bombing can be hard to spot, especially since you’re distracted by their overwhelming affection for you. That’s why it’s imperative to distinguish a fan who manipulates you by using control tactics like love bombing from true love. There are many proofs for you (God’s unity, power) in this!
1. They bombard you with phone calls and texts
Everyone knows that communication is essential in a relationship. But if your co-worker constantly calls or texts, it could be smothering. They don’t miss you that much.
They call, text, and message you 24/7 on social media. While it’s normal to be in constant communication when you first meet, it’s a red flag if the touch feels one-sided and increasingly strained.
Instead, they want to call and check on you because of a trust issue. They know they’ve got you wrong and want to ensure you understand them. Maybe they are working an angle and trying to get something out of you too.
If they start texting you early in the morning and at all hours, watch out.
2. They want to know your every move
While it’s cute to want someone to check on you to ensure it’s safe, it can also be creepy when overdone. When someone wants to know your every move, they are not concerned about your safety. Instead, they are checking you out more. They may say the sweetest things to make you trust their intentions, but you’ll soon see the not-so-depressing narcissistic vibe they’re giving you.
3. Love bombing mates will be friendly with family and friends
To make their ploy even more tenacious, it’s not uncommon for the manipulator to get along well with friends and family members. This person should be your inner circle, so trust them to approve the plan. Once they buy your family into the plan loops, lines, and dilemma, it becomes easier to manipulate you.
See, your friends and family will answer them when you question their intentions. The abuser has tricked everyone into thinking they are the perfect partner. But they are nothing but master manipulators.
4. They are overly concerned with your success
It’s nice to have someone to celebrate with you when you do something successfully. But have you ever noticed that your partner is more excited than you? The manipulator often does this when boarding a ship when a significant event occurs.
To the rest of the world, you’re a big fish in the dating pool, but you must look behind the facade and see the real intentions. They want to manipulate you and get you on their side because they have a bigger plan for you.
5. Love bombing people use your inaccuracy to manipulate your feelings
It helps if you keep a reserve around these classic manipulators, as they are very good at learning all the dirt around you. They can dig into your darkest secret. Nothing is off limits once they have something to use against you. Information becomes leverage, and you are in their hands.
They control your emotions so that you trust them and feel good about yourself. But then the sociopath will try to make you feel remorseful and depressed. If you feel like you’re riding an emotional roller coaster with this person, that’s a red flag that you’re being love-bombed.
6. They get upset when boundaries are set
When you tell them to slow down, they will continue manipulating you to get what they want. Someone who is legitimately interested will respect your wishes and back off.
Everyone has boundaries. These are important in any relationship. It would help if you preserved your individuality. Often this is a bone of contention with a fan lover. According to therapist Sharon Martin of Psych Central, it’s a big red flag when someone repeatedly violates personal boundaries.
He also points out that love is about respect and that you have choices. If someone constantly violates your boundaries, that is disrespecting you as a person.
7. They pamper you too much
Is it possible to have too many lashes? Well, it’s incredible to have someone tell you how special you are and how much you’re loved. But there’s a point where it goes from pleasant to ship, and they start to look suspicious.
The thing about this sparkly lover is that the goal is to depend on them for everything. They dote on you because they want to make sure you don’t get anywhere.
While going through this stage to purr like a king, it is essential to ensure that the relationship does not progress to the next stage of love bombing. Is the extra attention sincere or played?
8. A lover wants to dominate your time bombing
When you’re in love, you want to spend every chance together. But what do you do when that person strangles himself? While it may be fun at first, you have responsibilities that don’t include meeting and sneezing every evening of the week.
At first, it seems like they can’t live without you, but soon it feels like you don’t have any personal time or space. This is another tactic of a classic manipulator who wants to get on your good side. Doing this makes it easier for them to take advantage of you without them noticing.
9. Lightening the connection is moving quickly
There are many stages to love bombing, and the first stage moves very quickly. Maybe they were swept up in your beauty and overcome with passion. But that’s because they have a time frame that has nothing to do with you.
If someone starts telling you they love you by the second date, wants to move in with you in less than a month, or wants to be exclusive right after you meet, these are all red flags.
Of course, some people know they are the ones the minute they see each other. But these stories have more bad endings than good ones. Time is your friend when it comes to fan protection. Date long enough to get to know them and their intentions before committing to a marriage.
10. A love bombing partner will be over-involved in your life decisions
If your spouse seems too anxious when deciding, it causes anxiety. If you don’t plan to spend time with Khadija, you shouldn’t get so involved in other people’s choices. Another scary move is that some people will mirror your interests and preferences as their own.
Don’t be fooled by all this anxiety about your decisions and future. Still, they have their selfish thoughts. While it feels great to have someone who genuinely cares about you, they are nothing more than a very skilled actor.
What Makes Someone Susceptible to Love Bombing?
Love bombers are impatient. They often value power and control and want things done on their terms. Even if people “fall heavy” in a new relationship, partners in healthy relationships respect that people need time to feel safe. They understand that building trust and intimacy is an organic process.
On the other hand, love bombers often act as if they know you well from the beginning. They intend to close and quickly make you the center of their world. People with certain personality disorders (most notably narcissistic, borderline, and antisocial) may be more prone to this behavior—they often rely on external sources for internal validation and security.
Final thoughts on recognizing red flags that reveal love bombing
Healthy relationships require a healthy sense of self. Learning how to let go of toxic patterns (and relationships) can be difficult, but it’s always worth the effort. Unfortunately, the abuse progresses over time—it can get so bad that you lose your whole self.
Regardless of your circumstances, you are inherently deserving of love and happiness. It is possible to break free from unhealthy cycles and find fulfillment and joy in life (and relationships)!
A study published on Research Gate shows that love bombers often have low and low self-esteem. Like most fans, these people probably had something happen to them in the past that shook their perception of relationships. These people often do not have a good relationship with their friends or parents, so they tend to run out of time with people.
When someone tries to control you to take over your life, it is nothing more than narcissistic self-aggrandizement. Unfortunately, these actions can have a negative psychological effect on you and the person manipulating you. Toxic relationships are all around you, but it’s about choosing the best person for you.
Check your gut if you’re in the early stages of your relationship and feel like things are happening too fast. Remember: Falling in love should be savored, not rushed.
If you’re concerned that your partner is drifting into the manipulative territory, try reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health therapist who can help you evaluate their behavior.