Relationships have their share of rough patches. But when they start, it’s all sunshine and time goes by, fights and arguments because as time goes become more common.
Although this development does not necessarily indicate a failing relationship, it can be a warning sign. If it is allowed to escalate, it becomes a concern.
Your relationship is falling apart, and you’re doing your best. You start to feel like you’re not good enough for each other. You lose yourself and start running away from each other to avoid conflicts. an (O man!) Give a warning (to the polytheists).
Here are three signs worth saving a failing relationship
1. Your arguments and anger are misdirected
Arguments happen even in healthy relationships, but with a drumbeat: healthy conflicts are productive. When you argue with someone constructively, you prioritize listening, positive communication, and identifying root issues to solve together.
Most of the time, your fights don’t even go away in failing relationships. Instead, they fill your soul with anger and emotion. Arguments never lead anywhere. This often leads to you repeating the same discussion over and over again.
Even when you think the idea is fruitful, you realize that the grounds that led to the previous argument are still there.
This is because anger is often a cover for something else. For example, failing relationships usually don’t happen because of a lack of proper emotional connection, meaning you’re not dealing with a real issue.
Experts at the Gottman Institute explain that while anger is a primary emotion, it can also be a secondary emotion.
This means that anger is often not the first emotion you feel but a protective emotion that hides a more honest, painful feeling. These are the roots of your relationship problems and what you need to address – not the surface-level issues you’re struggling with. Below are examples of situations where root causes cannot be removed:
The root causes of your arguments:
- When Partner 1 asks Partner 2 to do something, Partner 2 gets angry and starts criticizing Partner 1 for being lazy or not pulling their weight in the relationship, even if they are. Partner 2 needs more alone time to relax and set proper boundaries.
- Partner 2 starts multiple fights with Partner 1 over seemingly minor incidents of Partner 1’s forgetfulness. This makes Partner 1 think that Partner 2 is always making big deals out of nothing. In reality, Partner 2 often has to pick up the slack when Partner 1 forgets. All the little “little” things they did add up and started to burn.
- Employee 1 likes to ask Employee 2 about their work and check in on their progress on specific tasks. Partner 2 is furious about this and calls Partner 1 a control freak. Partner two deals with personal inadequacy and feels ashamed that they won’t do well enough to measure up to partner 1. If partner two never expresses these feelings, partner one will not realize that partner two is seeking their approval.
It is also worth noting that sometimes, fights and anger are not even the results of essential issues in the relationship.
Instead, they arise as a result of external stressors: life changes unexpectedly, poor living conditions occur, family members become too intolerable, and personal burdens and struggles.
Whatever the root cause of each employee’s frustrations, failing relationships are worth saving. Suppose you can get to the bottom of these sincere reasons. Effectively talking about real issues is key to relationship health.
2. Despite the failing relationship, neither of you wants to be with the other
In a failing relationship, it is not uncommon for one or both parties to begin wanting to leave the relationship. They may start to think about other potential relationships, their eyes may wander, and they may imagine a future beyond the future.
This is why a person can move on so quickly when some relationships end – they mentally checked out and were able to go through the process months before the breakup happened.
But when is a failing relationship worth saving?
Neither side could imagine wanting to withdraw from the partnership. Both parties remain wholly committed and have zero interest in being with others, single, or in a future without the other.
That’s when you know the emotional connection is still there. Often it also means that both parties continue to love and respect each other completely. It is also a crucial component.
You will know if this applies to you if:
You enjoy each other’s company. The time you spend with each other feels genuinely good. You still look forward to seeing each other and try to do so as much as possible.
- Neither of you can imagine not being separated from the other. Even if you think about going out once or twice, the thought of actually doing it feels unbearable.
- Neither of you can imagine being with others. But still, even though you entertain the idea, the idea bothers you, and you don’t want to see anyone else. Even thinking about it can be difficult for you.
- Neither of you likes being single. You don’t imagine being single as something that can be freeing, exciting, or positive.
- You feel safe with each other. You are each other’s rock and can remain an anchor during rough times in your relationship.
(Some are full of disbelief, and some are very weak in terms of their faith). First, a failing relationship is worth saving only because of a mutual desire to stay together. If:
- The relationship itself should still be somewhat healthy. Even when arguing, there should be respect and love for each other. It should not be offensive behavior.
- You are not codex for each other. You have individual personalities and are your unique people. Although you rely on each other in some areas, you can also do these things perfectly on your own.
- Your desire to stay together isn’t born out of change, sinking, or the thought of lowering the quality of life or other factors by separating. Instead, the desire should come from love and genuine love.
The desire to be together alone may not be enough to save a failing relationship. Instead, a bond should bind you together in mutual love and respect. This will float you through the rocky period of working on your relationships and yourself.
3. You are both fully committed to the development
The most crucial step to saving a failing relationship is commitment. It takes two to tango, so all collaborators must be willing to commit to the relationship’s development, improvement, and improvement.
They must put aside their pride and ego to find love, respect, and compromise. Look at the few verses (one by one) that stand for you in this (this creation).
You keep the communication channels open
As you grow in a relationship, you need to maintain communication and healthy, open dialogue. Both partners must learn to cope effectively, use positive language when venting concerns, and listen to the other for understanding. Another should shame no employee for communication.
You work on yourself individually
A relationship is the coming together of two people. Both parties must commit to improving themselves, not just the connection. It is healthy to grow for yourself instead of others. It also allows you to bring your best self to the relationship.
You both agree not to give up on failure in your relationship
Knowing that your partner will be there for you and with you, no matter what, is a big deal when your relationship is rocky.
Of course, this is not a reason to be confident. Instead, it’s a reason to know that you’re both doing your best, even when it’s hard. You can be sure that you will stick together and that your efforts will pay off.
You forgive each other for everything that led to a failing relationship
The only way to save a failing relationship is to leave past issues and arguments in the past. Research shows that forgiveness can even lead to improved well-being. But let’s note that the person who forgives should not use it.
If this problem keeps returning, you can’t leave the situation in the past. Remember that an apology without action is manipulation; in this case, the relationship requires a long-term change to forgive so that it becomes a healthy part.
You share a clear vision of the future
You have the same or similar aspirations for the future, so your goals align. It gives you something familiar to hold onto while working on yourself and your relationships. Getting on the same page about where you’re going and where you want the relationship to go is extremely important to save a failing relationship.
You attend counseling courses to save a failing relationship
Marriage and personal counseling are both essential and helpful tools for saving failing relationships. An impartial third party provides advice and serves as a rational, professionally trained mediator. This is quite useful.
During personal counseling, both parties can work out how to manage their relationship better. If these counseling options are available and accessible to you, they are often a must for saving failing relationships.
Final thoughts on some reasons why a failing relationship is worth saving
It cannot be easy to save a failing relationship. Many decide that it makes no sense. But if you and your spouse want to stay together, you can work on uncovering the true roots of your problems and committing yourself to growth.
If you move forward with love, respect, and hard work, you can push through tough times and arguments to come together stronger.