The second lastly got here.
It’s been weeks or months of you two getting nearer with one another, turning into extra intimate and aware of each other, and bonding in the best way solely romantic companions bond.
But when you lastly popped the question to her – “Do you want to go on a date?” or “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” – the one factor she might say was, “I’m not ready for something serious, but I like you.”
So what do you do?
You may really feel anger, confusion, resentment, disappointment, or any variety of things.
How do you deal with this appropriately, and the way do you get again to a place the place you can suppose straight?
Here are 8 things to do when she says she likes you, but is not ready to be in a relationship:
1) Take a Step Back: Stop the Chase
She broke the unhealthy information to you, and you can’t assist but really feel devastated.
You thought you had one thing actual together with her, and you do, in a means, but although she likes you, she doesn’t wish to be official with you.
So what precisely does that imply?
Where does this depart you two now?
What can you do to make her see that she’s unsuitable and you two had been meant to be with one another?
You have all these questions swimming round in your head, and you’re sure to ultimately act out on one in all them on an impulse.
But performing out impulsively is the very last thing you wish to do.
That will solely push her away, making her suppose that her resolution to remain out of a relationship was the suitable one.
The solely good factor you can do at this level?
Give each you and her some space to breathe.
Your emotions for her didn’t come as a shock; she knew it and she thought of it, and this is the answer she selected to offer you.
So take it like a man and spend a while for your self, so you can correctly digest her response.
2) Get Out of Her Inbox
So it may be a few hours or days since she gave you the unhealthy information. Now you really feel a little lost.
Should you preserve contacting her?
Should you faux as if nothing occurred and simply preserve sending her memes and all of your ideas?
Pretending as if nothing occurred received’t assist.
You know what occurred and she is aware of what occurred; attempting to brush it beneath the rug as if it by no means occurred will simply confuse the scenario.
Stop messaging her for a whereas, or no less than, let her know that her response affected you.
Even if she received’t say it outright, you had been rejected.
So be taught to dwell with that rejection with dignity.
Don’t flood her inbox with a dozen totally different feelings, and don’t flood her inbox with so many memes as if to make her neglect it.
Process what occurred with dignity.
3) Accept the Situation and Accept Her Decision
Your first thought when she says “I like you, but I’m not ready for a serious relationship” may be to alter her thoughts.
Like most guys, when a girl presents you with a downside, your thoughts may instantly soar to attempting to repair that downside.
But this isn’t the type of downside you repair.
This isn’t one thing you discover a resolution for, as a result of there is no resolution for one thing like this.
Don’t be blinded by the voices in your head saying you can power her to like you or you could make her change her thoughts; that can solely push her away from you.
Respect her sufficient to just accept her resolution.
She knew what she stated to you, and she knew the implications of these phrases.
This is the place you two are actually, and solely when you settle for that may you discover the suitable path shifting ahead.
4) Make Up Your Mind: Figure Out What You Want
After you’ve come to phrases together with her emotions, you now have to come back to phrases with your individual.
Ask your self: now that you know the way she feels, what do you really need?
Do you nonetheless love her and are you prepared to attend for her, slowly displaying her that you may be affected person sufficient to maintain constructing this relationship till she’s ready for the subsequent step?
Or do you wish to get in your palms and knees and beg her to alter her thoughts proper now?
And if so, is that coming from a place of actual love, or from a bruised ego that may’t settle for rejection?
Or the third choice: you understand that you don’t wish to proceed pursuing somebody who doesn’t wish to be official with you; you know you’re deserving of affection proper now, not when she’s ready at some unknown time sooner or later.
And you want to discover one other particular person to build that relationship with right this moment, not wait for her unknown milestone that would take months or years earlier than it occurs.
The sooner you perceive what you need, the earlier you can emotionally come to phrases with it and work out your subsequent steps.
5) Stop Pushing; Let Her Come To You
Ultimately, most males would select the primary choice, as a result of we will say it may be essentially the most chivalrous choice: giving her time to be ready for the relationship, and slowly proving to her (and your self) that you’re worthy of being her man.
But the issue most males make when confronted with this circumstance is that they find yourself pushing a lot extra.
They power themselves upon the girl, messaging her consistently, scheduling dates and plans together with her as usually as they’ll, and easily working too onerous to look like the right man.
Don’t do this.
Stick to what you had been doing earlier than; it was clearly working, as a result of it was sufficient to make her like you.
Let her have the space and time to suppose as properly; let her know that your love for her is actual, virtually unconditional in a means, and she will ultimately, slowly, come to you.
6) Don’t Stress Her Out Over Labels
When one particular person “isn’t ready” for a actual relationship, the very last thing they need is a dialog about labels.
So don’t stress her out over labels.
If she agrees to exit with you to a enjoyable live performance adopted by a scrumptious dinner adopted by a potential “sleepover” at your house or her place, don’t say, “That was the best date of my life!”
When you introduce her to your family and friends, don’t name her your “girlfriend” and don’t say “it’s complicated”; simply say that she’s your shut buddy and you hang around collectively a lot
Never make her really feel like you’re attempting to impose a label on her that she’s not ready to put on.
When a particular person likes you but isn’t ready for a relationship, she may be coping with personal points you know nothing about, and not respecting these boundaries with sudden mislabelling may be a simple approach to push her away.
It tells her that you’re not actually prepared to attend; you’re simply attempting to trick her into winding up with you.
7) Give Her The Time To Fall In Love
Earlier we stated that you ought to know what you need and you ought to make your subsequent steps based mostly on that.
So if you resolve to maintain seeing her, inform her that you’re prepared to attend, then ensure that your full coronary heart is dedicated to doing that.
Truly give her the time to fall in love with you, regardless of how a lot time that could be (so long as you’re prepared to attend that lengthy).
Don’t be upset if two months down the street she’s nonetheless in the identical space mentally.
She instructed you how she felt; there’s no timer, no counter monitoring the variety of dates you go on collectively.
She has to comply with her coronary heart, simply as you needed to comply with yours.
Love works in a different way for all of us, and all of us have our personal requirements for what it means to be in a relationship.
Instead of forcing her to adapt to yours, be taught to adapt to hers.
It may be irritating, completely.
But if you put within the effort and time to let her fall genuinely and deeply in love with you, this may wind up being the very best relationship of your life.
8) Ask Her What She Wants
All too usually guys make this one easy mistake: they don’t truly ask the girl what she desires.
Men have a tendency to love skipping steps, and looking for options to the issues as quickly as attainable.
But if you attempt to discover a resolution that doesn’t even contain the enter of what your potential companion desires, then how can it actually be the suitable resolution?
Don’t assume you know what she’s pondering, and even worse, that you know higher than she does about her personal emotions.
Communicate together with her, and present her that you’re not solely prepared to hear, but prepared to react appropriately to her wants.
Ask her what she must be ready for a relationship; what she must see in a attainable companion, and what you can do to be a higher match for her.