Finding a friend to share your life with is a beautiful blessing. But those who pretend to be your friends are nothing but wolves in sheep’s clothing. A frenemy comes out for themselves. They will use and abuse you to get what you want.
Even the best friendships have their share of ups and downs. Sometimes you doubt whether you know your goodness or not. It will help you distinguish a person who loves an enemy from a loyal person. Friendship should bring joy and happiness to your life, even in rough times.
Dealing with the frenemy seems like one dramatic battle after another. You are missing out on communication rather than being discouraged. The signs of such a person are often difficult to see at first, but it is often possible to talk a few months openly into the relationship.
Ten warning signs of a hidden frenemy (not a true friend)
One way to spot a fake friend is by how you feel around them. They can give you a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach because your intuition knows something isn’t right.
Maybe they are so hostile and resentful that they give you a headache to be around them. If you’re wondering how to tell the difference between this clever enemy, here are some tips to help protect your heart.
1. Frenemy loves to make everything a competition
As you are on your last leg, you need a new car. So when they make your purchase, they also get a new car. If you’re getting a new haircut, they need a unique style too. They always try to one-up you to make themselves feel better.
While engaging in a little healthy competition is good, it should never be someone else’s focus. You certainly buy a vehicle for no other reason than need. But their motives are not so pure. They make everything so competitive it’s suffocating.
If you should never hide a purchase or an achievement from a friend, it should be celebrated with you.
2. Toxic friends have passive-aggressive tendencies
A passive-aggressive friendship is toxic. While some perversions are apparent, others use covert tactics. A passive-aggressive personality will never directly confront you if you do something to upset them.
But when they’re around, they like to make snarky comments under their breath. For example, you are with a large group of friends. Everyone is happy and praising you for the promotion. They record how you climb the corporate ladder.
Well, almost everyone is celebrating; it is evident that the so-called friend is jealous and not happy about it. They complain about hearing bad things for people to hear rather than facing you and telling them directly how they feel. They say words similar to these phrases:
- “We all know how you got the job.”
- That job is a piece of cake; anyone can go that far.”
- You just got a $1.00 increase in one hour. I don’t see what’s the big deal.”
A passive-aggressive person will say these comments softly but make them loud enough for people to hear. These are the actions of a desperate person to divert attention from you. According to the National Library of Medicine, this personality disorder is often called negativism because they live in constant negativity. In addition, if a parent has the disease, it increases the chance that their children will inherit it.
3. A frenemy will gossip behind your back
Renaissance is an integral part of any relationship. When you have a close friends, you want to keep your secrets safe with them. But your frenemy can be kind to your face, offer you a shoulder to cry on, and even pity you, but they can use it against you by doing these things.
As soon as they leave your side, they can’t wait to tell others about everything in your life. Unfortunately, you get wind of their tricks through the grapevine and know your trust has been broken.
4. They are using you
It’s never fun when someone takes advantage of you. Friends give and take. So if giving is often wrong, then something is out of balance. Friend-enemy is a person who feels a sense of entitlement.
They want to knock you down, they want to knock you down, they want to trample you when you are down. These so-called friends are not healthy. The toxic poisons they spew can take you to dark places if you let them.
5. A frenemy is dishonest
Even the best of friends will experience conflict and drama. However, it seems that when you two are together, you only argue; something is not right in the relationship. A person with a jeep on his shoulder is eager to start a fight.
6. A toxic friend only cares about themselves
While this friendship has some excellent features, the truth is that they don’t care about you. They are a very selfish person. They only make time for you when they need you. Please do not count on them coming when you call, as they will always be swamped.
They are also very disrespectful of your time. Let’s say the two of you have planned to go to dinner at seven o’clock in the evening.
They don’t call to say they’re running late. You sit alone in the restaurant until eight o’clock. They don’t have to waste your time because they only care about what is happening in their life. Not only is this person rude and inconsiderate, but they also are not your friend.
7. You never know the real them
Good relationships are genuine, deep, and balanced. In all of my solid relationships, I’ve shared vulnerabilities, confessions, and even my darkest fears with friends and romantic partners.
If you’ve shared the real you—all the ugly and scary parts of it—but your friend still wants you to think they’re perfect, the relationship isn’t real. Based on the facade.
8. They are not happy when you excel
Your friend should be one of your biggest supporters in life. They should celebrate your victories, pick you up, and encourage you to keep going even when you fall. However, your frenemy will not be happy for you when you win, but there is a drama that may seem a little too joyful.
Pure jealousy motivates the person who can’t celebrate with you when everything is going your way. The strange and often negative comments they use show what kind of person your friends are with. They are poisonous. According to the National Library of Medicine, jealousy can be a stand-alone condition or part of a more significant disorder.
People with severe jealousy issues often have a personality disorder or struggle with low self-esteem. Fans are notorious for jealousy issues, and these selfish people often match the characteristics of Frisians.
9. Your Frenemy acts as an annoyance to you
There’s no need for a friendship where they act like you’re an irritant they have to deal with. There is no reason to have someone in your life because they feel sorry for you or can’t get rid of you.
First, some people will be proud to be on your side. It will not be necessary to face such toxicoses. Secondly, this person is not a real friend but an enemy. Learning the difference is a must.
10. Oozes of negative energy from them
No matter how hard you try, you feel like nothing you do is enough for them. They rarely say nice things about you or anyone else. They tend to point out all the bad things about you and rarely look at all your achievements.
You are not perfect, but your frenemy mocks, and this imperfection calls attention. They are bitter people who will do everything in their power to make you feel bad. The crux of the matter is that they have very low self-esteem. They try to bring you down to their level.
Final thoughts on hidden frenemy
If you find a good friend, you have indeed found a treasure. So many people pretend to be your best friend only to turn around and stab you in the back. You may end up with a red-hot enemy, but you may also find a wonderful person who will never leave your side.
Friendships can be as tricky as romantic relationships; some will work well, and some will be toxic. You must be careful who you let into your inner circle because the wrong person can make your life miserable. Don’t let the bad spoil the good because life would be bland without some great friendships to add some spice.