As you enter your late teens or early twenties, you’ve probably heard there’s nothing better than being friends with someone hot. If you’re still young, you’ve probably been FWB with someone. Maybe you will like it.
There is nothing inherently wrong with having such an attitude. It even works for some people. The problem is how society romanticizes this situation.
Everyone describes it as a way to break free while still being someone. But this is a contradiction. Certain magic had to be involved for this to be possible. So people get into these kinds of relationships, and their hearts ache.
It’s okay to be in a relationship if that’s what you want. But this concept is inherently flawed. It promises all the benefits, none of the side effects. So it just puts people at a disadvantage. Besides, believe it or not, you deserve more than friendship with benefits.
What does it mean to be friends with benefits with someone?
If you’re a Millennial or part of Gen Z, you’re familiar with having friends with benefits. But, for those who don’t know, here’s a quick explanation.
Having a friend with benefits (or FWB) should be similar to being in a relationship without commitment or love. Your FWB is someone you sleep with regularly. You can even get together and go on pseudo dates.
But you are not in a real relationship. You are not exclusive, and you do not consider each other as partners. This benefits some because you can technically get all the benefits of a relationship without complications.
Because you’re not working, the relationship feels like a safe place. You can vent to your FWB if you’re having a bad day. But since you don’t have romantic feelings for each other, your situation will never lead to further issues.
Of course, if you hear that about befriending someone with benefits, that’s great. Attitude, but without responsibility and struggle. We were having fun and hanging out with someone. Who wouldn’t want that? If it were possible beyond your imagination, everyone would be doing it. But this notion has an inherent flaw: humans are not robots—we have emotions.
Of course, for some people, having an FWB can be convenient. But these people are part of the minority. Most people want to have a real, meaningful connection with benefits. Although they want to be in a relationship, they must settle for having a friend for their use. This is the new trend when it comes to relationships.
So that’s exactly what people will do. Even if they want more, they will still do it because of how falsely advertised.
That’s why they become friends with someone. In that case, one of two things can happen. Either they miss out because they are not romantically satisfied or hold onto feelings. In the first case, you can argue that it doesn’t hurt much.
Those people wasted some time—all this. But in the second case, it comes. Sure, in the dream world, you can confess your feelings, your FWB will reciprocate, and you’ll live happily ever after. But you’ll be heartbroken if they don’t feel the same or aren’t ready for a real commitment.
4 Reasons Why You Deserve More Than Best Friends
No matter how attractive it may seem to be friends with goodness, it will lead nowhere. You have no real future with an FWB. And worst of all, you might be heartbroken. If you’re still not convinced, you deserve more than just friends with benefits.
1. You are worth the commitment
Being in a relationship means that two people promise to be faithful to each other. It means the two of you promise to build something together. But if you have a good friend, this can never happen.
You will have fun, but you will also waste your time. You will feel fulfilled when you are equally committed to being together.
Being friends with benefits means that there are no obligations. You spend all this time with someone, but they don’t let you hang out when things get complicated. They won’t stick to you, especially if you need help getting out of a sticky situation.
Usually, these people are provided benefits when they are not happy and windy. The bottom line is that even if you are there for them, they don’t have a moral need to reciprocate.
Even if you help them, they don’t keep any promises to you. Hence, there will always be a varying level of dedication in these situations. They (polytheists) gave you (victory) and. But how can they know (this)? But it is not necessary for life.
It would help if you had someone dedicated to sticking by. Don’t entertain the idea when someone suggests being an FWB.
2. You deserve respect, not just an FWB
If someone wants to be friends with you, they say they don’t like you enough to be with you. Sometimes people are not ready for a relationship. But those people won’t want to have an FWB either.
If someone says they like you but can’t make things official, they’re leading you. If they genuinely respected you, they would want something honest with you, not just a fling.
Sure, it’s nice to have the occasional loop. But, if someone wants to spend time being an FWB but doesn’t want a relationship, don’t take them up on the offer. You deserve a man who truly respects you.
And he’ll prove that he thinks highly of you by wanting to be with you. They will not try to take the easy way out and have as few responsibilities as possible.
When someone respects you, they happily go out of their way to see you happy. But to have a romantic life, you need someone who does more than sleep with you. No matter your circumstances, you need someone to be there for you.
3. You deserve to take care of your friends more when you are blessed
The kindness of a friend can be incredible because, for him, it is not an emotional need. So, do you want to get intimate with someone uninterested in you repeatedly? Chances are, given a choice, you’d like someone who would genuinely interest you.
Moreover, you are sure that your partner is caring in the relationship. You don’t risk emotional attachment without reciprocity. In relationships, your spouse should prove they care for them with words and actions.
Not only do they have to, but a good companion will want to. This is also worthy of you. You deserve to go on dates instead of someone asking just for intimacy.
You deserve someone with you because they like you for who you are—who value you for how you look, think, and act. Your partner will want you to be a part of their life and make you feel special. And it would help if you looked for that too.
4. You deserve something to last
There are many reasons why friends with benefits don’t turn into more. For once, there is a high possibility that your FWB has some side pieces. Or maybe the side piece is you. This is even worse.
Furthermore, there is no question of the future or plans for a period longer than a few days. Sure, you might decide to go to the movies on Friday. But I don’t remember you talking about what you want your future to look like.
After all, it is not part of the contract. And then there’s the problem: you don’t like each other or are incompatible. Having an FWB is a waste of time. If you try to put in some effort, it can become a significant waste. So you only get a little fun out of it, but you have to deal with all the downsides.
You deserve to be with someone sure that they want to be with you and plan a future together. A good couple quickly begins to merge their lives. Maybe they will live together or get married in just a few years. Perhaps this is not your dream. You want something more extraordinary. Then you can find a partner compatible with you and share your vision.
But you will have no future with an FWB. So please don’t waste your time on this kind of training. Instead, put yourself out there and find someone who won’t waste your time.
Final thoughts on some reasons why you deserve more than friends with benefits
Don’t be fooled by how good the concept sounds in reality. You are either friends with someone or with them. No matter how much we want it, nothing in between is possible. So the concept of just being friends with goodness is not only flawed but also not worth your time.
Even if it works, it would be better to look for something real. If you want respect from your partner and a real relationship, you need a real relationship. You deserve solid loyalty, not just a few times.
So go out and have fun, but don’t lock yourself in a friends-with-benefits situation. The only thing that will happen is to break your heat. If you’re lucky, you’ll miss it. But that still means you’re wasting your time.
If you want a hook-up, go for real. Otherwise, put yourself on the market and look for true love. You deserve to find love and hope for the future. And you were having an FWB won’t get you what you want.