10 Reasons She Is Being Distant And Avoiding Me (And What To Do)
Something gives, and you know it. Things may have been going well for a while, but recently things have changed.
She seems less reactive. She is playing well. It sounds like she is avoiding you or ignoring you completely. But why, and what should you do?
Dating is supposed to be fun, but let’s face it, sometimes it gets complicated. You may wonder if you are doing something wrong.
This article will tell you why he is suddenly cold towards you, and more importantly, what to do about it.
Why does someone suddenly turn away?
I promise you this:
I am going to give it directly to you in this article.
Because I’ve read so many other articles on the subject, it seems they’re mainly telling you what you want to hear. Settling the issue and coming up with excuses that sound more pleasant such as:
“She likes you so much that she is overwhelmed by her undying love for you.”
Can this happen? Sure, anything is possible. But is it shared? No, not really.
While this may sound nice, it will do little in the long run to solve your problem. And deep down, no matter how much you wish it were true, I doubt you’re buying it.
True friends speak the truth. So that’s what I’m going to do today—There are no excuses, just the most practical reasons girls get carried away. The good news is that facing the truth lets you make changes to fix the situation instead of being in wishful thinking mode.
That way, you can handle the situation and what will help you get a girl. So let’s start.
Why is she turning away and avoiding me? Ten real reasons
1. She is playing the game
Many people still go by some “vague rules” regarding dating. Girls are specially told that they should play it nice and let you chase them if they want to get your attention.
The reality does not help that this can happen with a specific type of guy. Players in it only to chase and quickly lose interest often pursue women they see as more unattainable.
It then becomes a power struggle for who can get the upper hand. There is always some dance going on around dating. We must navigate to maintain our calm so we are not too strong.
Maybe she doesn’t feel like she’s getting what she wants from you – especially the attention she craves. Perhaps she doesn’t feel like things are progressing at the pace she would like.
That’s why she’s pulling back because she wants you to follow her. She thinks the girls need to go far to follow the boys.
It’s a passive-aggressive way to try to get what you want. This isn’t the most emotionally mature strategy to try.
But the truth is, it can be fragile to say how we feel, so we act instead. There are a lot of girls out there who push men away to try and get them closer.
2. She’s mad at you
While we’re on the topic of passive-aggressive behavior, silent treatment must be one of the oldest tricks in the book.
Why is she suddenly mean to me? Maybe she is trying to punish you. If he’s angry with you about something, you might think, ‘Well, why not say something about it?’
As logical as it sounds on paper, it is not always that simple regarding matters of the heart. I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve seen claim to be “absolutely nothing wrong” while trembling silently.
I’m not proud of it. It is far better to face what is bothering you. But some of us don’t act that way. We hold back when we are feeling hurt or insecure. When we are angry with someone, we push him away.
If she’s angry at you but doesn’t feel like she can express it directly to you, then that anger has to go somewhere. Maybe it’s coming out through his being away and avoiding you.
3. She’s not into you
Sadly, the dating world is littered with failed romances because one person wasn’t interested enough to take things forward eventually.
Attraction is an incredibly complicated thing. It’s based on many factors that all come together and make us want someone or feel lukewarm about them. Maybe his interest in you is just starting to fade. His feelings have not progressed, and so his attention wanders.
She gets tired. When she does this, it seems like she is moving away from you. Even though we think you’re either into someone or you’re not, the reality is much more nuanced.
You might like someone, but you still haven’t been enamored. You may choose to start with someone and then change your mind.
The silver lining is that because feelings aren’t simple, even if she has started to lose interest, it doesn’t mean she can’t change her mind again. We’ll discuss later how you can rekindle that interest.
4. She is confused about his feelings
Because emotions are so complex, they can be overwhelming at times. Sometimes we don’t know how we feel. Or we get filled with feelings that take us by surprise.
It may be that we sometimes become concerned about how we feel. We are confused by conflicting emotions and need to step back to figure out what’s happening in our minds.
If that’s the case, it’s likely to match a time when you were getting very close. Maybe things were going to the next level, suddenly creating fear in him.
Sometimes even our heads and our heart do not agree. If she’s conflicted about whether being with you is a good idea, she might be looking for some space.
5. You are being too strong for him
It’s an obvious point, but not all girls are created equal. There might be a stereotype that we like to be treated like princesses and showered 24-7 with affection and attention.
Sure, some women want it, but many others don’t. I really value my independence and will back away immediately from a person I feel is threatening. I need some space. If I don’t think I’m getting it, it seriously pisses me off.
But the psychology behind it goes much deeper than this:
It’s a big turn-off if I think a guy is being too intense because, on some level, I feel like he needs me to validate him. And she’s not sexy.
I want him to have his own life and interests. I don’t want to feel like the center of his world. It’s almost as if his position goes down if I feel like he’s being needy or too strong
6. She’s not really over his ex
I once broke up with someone I loved and was hurt by it. No matter how great they were, the men I met during that time never really got the chance.
Even though I had dates, small fish, and joined on the surface, I wasn’t ready to put my heart on the line again. So eventually, I will find a way to distance myself from the situation.
If she’s living with the ghost of her ex, has unresolved feelings for him, and has some emotional baggage that needs to be unpacked, it’s hard to move on and make room for someone new.
7. She has other things going on
I am a big believer in trusting your gut. But we also need to recognize that sometimes our “gut feeling” isn’t intuition; it’s paranoia.
Is there any chance you are misreading the situation? Is she holding back from you, or could there be something else? How can you tell if a girl is distancing herself?
Well, it must be more than that. He hasn’t yet replied to the text you sent him a few hours ago.
Love and romance are hella weak and so scary. This means that our protective minds can quickly jump to complete concoctions.
But the worst-case scenario we’ve decided isn’t always what we think. As the center of our world, we often forget that we are not necessarily the center of everyone else – and that’s not bad.
She may be busy if you haven’t heard from her in a day or two. He may have stress and other things to deal with.
There are plenty of plausible and reasonable reasons why a girl might be a little bit AWOL for seemingly no reason that she’s avoiding you.
8. You are his backup
If we’re being brutally honest, most of us have had some backup throughout our romantic history. These are blankets of emotional security when we feel lonely, bored, or need an ego boost.
It looks so ugly because it is one of a kind. It’s essentially using someone. But our intentions are usually not as cruel as they seem.
We all want love, and we all have our insecurities. A backup can help us feel better. What does it mean for a girl to be hot and cold? This could mean that you are a backup.
When he needs you, it sounds like he’s interested. But when she is not there, she disappears again.
9. There is someone else at the scene
Dating has become a very competitive sport.
There are a lot of apps and websites where singles can meet each other on demand. People spend more time shopping than they do before committing to making a purchase.
Maybe there is a competition between you. She may have a secret crush on someone else. There might be someone else who is giving him more attention.
If you’re not exclusive, it’s safe to assume that the person you’re dating may also be dating other people. Or at least still talking to other people.
10. She doesn’t think you’re into him
At one point or another, we all get tired of waiting. I’ve found myself many times in situations where I’m asking, “Is something going on here or not?”
If he feels you are not showing enough interest, he will have enough on some level. She might feel like she’s wasting her time, that you’re never going to ask her out. Maybe she doesn’t know if you’re really into it or not.
The despair could have driven him to the point where he told himself it was time to walk away.
She may be fed up if you see them as hot and cold. Maybe you text him sporadically. Perhaps you chatted occasionally, but you didn’t take any action.
My friend calls people who act like these “fruit flies.” They resonate around sugar. But after some time, he starts getting angry.
What to do when she is turning away and avoiding you
1. Don’t follow him
It is as much about what not to do as what to do. If a girl thinks you’re about to run after her, she loses respect for you, so you want to ensure you’re not chasing her and being her lap dog.
Completely ignoring her when she gets cold can backfire, especially if you’re both stubborn. Nine times out of 10, if she’s started it before, she will probably run back when she sees it’s not working.
But the main thing is not to get completely cold on him; make sure you don’t chase after him.
Instead, leave the ball in his court. Give her as much or as little attention as she shows you. If he didn’t reply to your last message, don’t send another message.
If she wants you, she knows where you are. This shows that you are a high-value person; you are not desperate and therefore do not need to be chased.
2. Let your confidence work hard
It does not appear. This is not money. This is not the situation.
Confidence is the most significant factor when it comes to attractiveness. I learned it from relationship expert Kate Spring. And he is very suitable.
Confidence instills something in us women that create instant attraction. If you want to boost your confidence in women, check out Kate’s excellent free video here.
Watching videos of Kate has been a game-changer for many people who are struggling to find a date and don’t know why or are stuck in a relationship that isn’t working.
Confidence is like a magic filter that makes you feel ten times more desirable immediately. But I know it’s not that easy to navigate.
3. Don’t friendzone yourself
She will never value you if she feels you are still waiting endlessly for her. Many think that agreeing to be friends gives them a greater chance to change their minds and eventually fall for them. But sadly, it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes they get stuck in the friend zone.
Suppose you’re happy to be friends, well, cool. But if you are attracted to this girl deep down, why put yourself through it?
If she says she wants to be friends, don’t be afraid to let her know that she’s not what you’re looking for. Clear what you want shows you are confident and in cour life. You don’t settle for more or less than you want – and that’s sexy.
Seal the deal
I can sum up this article with fluffy and great advice. Telling you to move on, know your worth, and find someone else. But I promised you the truth: if you want this girl, you’ve got to learn how to play the game.
Luckily it’s not as cold and calculating as it sounds. It’s more about recognizing that love isn’t always fair. It all relates to the incredible wisdom I learned from Kate Spring.
She has changed dating and relationships for thousands of men by getting honest. One of the most truthful things she says:
Women don’t choose the guy who treats them the best. They choose people they are deeply attracted to on a biological level.
As a woman, I wish this weren’t true (it might have saved me a lot of heartaches), but unfortunately, it’s spot on.
Women don’t like donkeys because they are assholes. They want idiots because they are confident and give them the right signals—the kind of signs a woman can’t resist.
The good news is that you can quickly learn the right signs to give in to ladies—and you don’t need to be an asshole in the process (ooh).