Narcissists are tricky because they seem charming initially and flip the switch when you least expect it. They make you question yourself and think you are the problem in your relationship. The manipulator wants to control you and ensure they continue getting what they want from you.
Narcissists use love bombing, digging, and manipulating to get what they want and keep you around. Sometimes narcissism is easy to spot, but other times it’s more veiled, meaning they’re quieter about it. There are many common expressions that manipulators use to undermine your well-being.
There is no complete list of expressions that narcissists will use to manipulate others. But this list is a place to start. Any variation of these statements is a red flag. So don’t reject anything that doesn’t feel right to you. But before learning these expressions, it is necessary to understand what a narcissist is.
What is a narcissist?
Anyone who thinks they are better and more worthy than others can have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This disorder means that they engage in grandiose thinking, lack empathy, want to be fascinated, and engage in egotism.
How do these negative behaviors cover up personal inaccuracies and fears they would never admit? They like to manipulate others and make love.
Narcissists use language differently than other people. Instead of communicating, they use words to get what they want or need. They will say what they can to keep you around, even if it is detrimental to your well-being.
These people are highly entitled and do everything they can to tear others down. They terrorized you psychologically. The longer you go on, the worse it gets. Often the narcissist sounds normal and uses words to send mixed messages with negative subtext.
These people are often arrogant and thoughtless. They think only of themselves, so their actions are generally selfish. A manipulator will only do good to others if they get something out of it or use it against them later.
Twelve phrases that narcissists use to manipulate others
You may not realize these statements are manipulative at first but question them later. This situation happens to you because the narcissist is good at saying something without coming right out and insulting you.
Sometimes they are more straightforward, but often they try to make their harmful opinions seem helpful. Anytime someone says something that undermines your success or makes you question yourself, it’s manipulative.
1. I’m the only person who likes you. Everyone is just showing off.
A narcissist says this for several reasons. First, they want you to feel bad about yourself. It will make you feel worthless and make them feel better than you.
They also want you to feel that they are doing you a favor by spending time with you. They’ll be grateful if they’re the only ones who like you.
But that’s not all, because they want to isolate you from others. If you think people don’t like you and say bad things about you, you won’t want to be around them. This method is one of the many methods of the manipulator to get you to them.
2. No one will believe you if you tell them.
The manipulator will say this phrase for several reasons. Maybe they have isolated you, so you have no one to turn to.
Or maybe it shows that they are already talking bad about you to others. They will want to do this first so that everyone in your life will be on their side and believe their lies.
In both cases, this phrase prevents people from talking about the situation. You will feel alienated and lonely. It convinces you to stay silent.
3. I don’t know why you are so jealous and insecure.
The person using this expression usually knows why you are disappointed or feeling insecure. This person goes out of their way to make you feel that way, makes them feel wanted and powerful.
Narcissists will do things to make you sad and then feel bad for being disappointed. They do this because they feel threatened when confronted and don’t want to hear your opinion.
These people often want you to accept these insults without saying a word. They don’t want to tell you that you’re right because that would require them to consider how their actions affect others.
4. I love you so much – I can’t be without you.
When someone hurts you and then uses this phrase, it signifies a manipulator. They often love you after breaking you. And it’s a sneaky way to take control.
But what they love is that despite the mistreatment, you trust them and continue to care for them. It exposes you to insults because you continue to forgive and continue the relationship.
They do this to manipulate the love bomb after some confusion. They can hope that your soft side will take over and you will forget the negativity. This is said to keep you in a cycle of narcissistic abuse. It can also be one of those things narcissists say after you break up in hopes that you’ll return to them.
5. You’ll never find someone better if you leave me.
Narcissistic behavior usually stems from underlying insecurities; this statement is an example. They are afraid that you will find someone who treats you well.
They want you to believe that you will regret this fear. This person doesn’t want you to find someone who will bring joy to your life or let you know your true worth.
6. You are very jealous and insecure.
They say this because they feel threatened by your confrontation. They are not open to hearing your thoughts because it reminds them of the ugly parts they don’t want to face. They talk to you about something wrong to avoid taking responsibility for their feelings and past.
7. I don’t know why you are angry. It’s your fault anyway.
No matter what, a narcissist will blame you. They never take responsibility for a situation or outcome and never blame others. These people do not take even partial responsibility. Because they are not guilty, they will find every reason.
If they do something to hurt you, this person is telling you that it is their fault. They would say that if you did what they wanted, they wouldn’t hurt you.
A narcissist will use this phrase when confronted or defending himself. They do not enjoy confrontation, so the manipulator will immediately turn the situation around.
8. I’m sorry you feel that way. You’re wrong.
When this person says they are sorry for their feelings, they want you to think they are being kind. But follow up with a red flag telling you’re wrong. They want to end the argument, but only if you let the matter go.
It is clear from this statement that this person is not sorry for what they have done. They regret that you are talking about this problem.
9. Life is not all about you. Let him go.
A narcissist will use this phrase when they want to refer to themselves. They won’t discuss your needs because they won’t get what they want. These people only want to promote their selfishness. They will make you feel guilty or ashamed so that they can do it.
10. They’re just friends; stop imagining things.
It’s hard to date a narcissist because they’ll betray your trust and then say you imagine it. They will keep their close friends throughout your relationship. But when you mention it, this manipulator will pretend that they did nothing wrong.
11. It is necessary to be angry about nothing.
When you express your feelings, maybe your narcissist will. They don’t want to show compassion, so they try to shut down your statement quickly.
Parents often tell their children this, thinking it helps them cope with their emotions. But whether it’s addressed to adults or children, this phrase devastates the senses. This is not a good thing. No one should feel that they have to suppress their feelings.
12. Stop being so pushy; I was kidding.
It’s not a good sign when someone tells you that you joke too much and that they’re joking. A narcissist will say this when reacting naturally to a situation. They don’t want you to catch their negative actions, so they want you to think it’s no big deal.
This person is gaslighting you and occupying you to make you second-guess yourself. This can make you obey and minimize insults. This statement devalues your feelings and causes you to lose confidence in yourself.
Eleven signs of a narcissist
You can often look for eleven narcissist signs to identify them in your life. There is more to observing than listening to what they have to say. Some of the other signs of a manipulator are:
- having a large circle of friends but not being able to maintain a deep relationship
- exhibiting attention-seeking behavior
- asking for everything from others without ever contributing
- hurting people’s feelings and not taking responsibility
- creates problems within the group and blames others for how they behave
- don’t care about other people’s feelings
- relying on others to help them with their negative emotions, but never being there for their natives
- withdrawing from friendships and relationships when they can no longer feed their self-esteem
- spending time with people only when it benefits them
- constantly criticizes others, openly or behind
- to impose higher standards on others than on themselves
Final thoughts on phrases narcissists use to manipulate others
Fighting a narcissist may seem impossible, but the first step is identifying it. If you feel bad after spending time with certain people, think about what they said to you. These statements harm your well-being and intend to manipulate you.
When you know a narcissist’s true intentions, you can protect yourself from their harmful actions. Remember that this is not an exhaustive list, and any variation of these statements is toxic. Go with your gut and admit to yourself when something doesn’t make you feel good.