Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. But does it lead to frustration or even anger when things are not correct? Nobody is perfect.
Now you have to think and wonder. Why are you so hard on yourself?
When was the last time you got mad because you didn’t do something right? Perhaps it was a foolish mistake that demonstrated inner perfection. Unfortunately, being hard on yourself is something most people do, and it’s completely normal.
However, even though putting yourself down is normal, it doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Part of self-care is learning to love and care for yourself. For this, you need to be able to speak positively, not negatively.
Nobody’s Perfect… So why are people so critical of themselves?
You know nobody’s perfect. Many life lessons make you a better person. So why do people beat themselves up when they stumble? A recent study shows that women tend to be slightly more self-critical than men.
According to research by Tech Times, the average woman will have more than eight miscarriages every day. Even worse is that 89% of these women are more eager to praise others than themselves.
That’s not to say that men don’t let themselves down. This study shows that women are more likely to criticize their abilities. You often pay more attention to small mistakes in your life than they deserve.
The exciting thing is that you will have to encounter these small mistakes after a month. But big mistakes are the ones that make you feel like a total failure. They are the ones that stick with you.
You must remember that your big or small mistakes do not define you, nor do they make you a failure. It is a common misconception that your disasters destroy you. Every time you stumble and fall, you learn a lesson that helps you grow and change.
How many times does a baby fall before it learns to walk? The baby’s parents told them not to touch the stove, but they did anyway. But they knew the oven was hot so they wouldn’t make that mistake again.
Unless you make a few mistakes along the way, will you ever learn anything? It would help if you were “burned” by something like touching a hot stove to teach you what is dangerous. Think of the mistakes you made in life as stepping stones to getting better.
Five common reasons for your critical nature
After all, since you are not a perfect person, why do you consider yourself flawless? Some experts believe that this is the basis of human thinking. But this mindset is fueled by many things.
1. Competitive nature
One thing that seems complicated for most people is the increased competition and more to do in life. Although it is a natural part of humanity, it does not ease your psychology. Why do people think they need to set the bar higher and higher? Are they never satisfied with their achievements?
Of course, everyone has an inner drive that motivates them to do better. But this is not always useful. Social media has changed the way people see themselves. You’re no longer competing with people in your local neighborhood; you have friends worldwide showing off their achievements.
Social networks set ridiculous norms that make perfection seem normal. You will never measure up if you constantly compare yourself to the world around you. Then, once you reach the top position, you will live in fear because you have so much to lose.
One of the biggest reasons people beat themselves up is because they constantly compare their achievements to others. Remember that nobody is perfect, so stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
2. Nobody’s perfect, but many still have unrealistic expectations
According to TechRepublic, the Netherlands has the shortest work year in the world. People in this country work about 29 hours each week.
However, the same article states that the average work week in Colombia is fifty hours, while Americans work 41 hours per week. It gets longer after work. The drive for productivity and more work burns people out.
Not only does your boss have unrealistic expectations, but you’re putting extra stress on yourself and doing more work.
3. The perfection trap
By nature, the world is very competitive. You don’t have to look far to see the impact of these cutting edges. Look at social networks.
Everyone displays the best moments of their lives for all to see. Maybe you see a perfect family living in the town, making good money, and fulfilling all their dreams. Unfortunately, they don’t show you the authentic version of themselves.
The problem is that these little snapshots of perfection tell your brain that you should measure up to their standards. No one is perfect, so why do people try to portray that to the world?
You will never be perfect because perfection is impossible. Even if you achieve one goal, you will always find bigger, better, and more achievements. What you are doing is setting yourself up for failure and low self-esteem.
It will send you on a downward spiral, following the trail of perfection.
4. Lack of self-confidence and self-esteem
When you set your life at an uncertain level, you set yourself up for low self-esteem and poor self-confidence. Did you know that people with moral issues are harder on themselves?
These negative emotions can cause you to avoid social situations and fear leaving your comfort zone. Because you don’t believe in yourself, you will be afraid to try something new or face challenges.
5. Limitation of beliefs
But what are you sure you can achieve? It changes the ability to limit self-confidence. When you set the bar too high and fail to reach it, you send a message to your psychology that you have forgotten.
Have you used the following phrases when you failed?
- “I’m such an unlucky person.”
- “I knew I couldn’t do it anyway.”
- “I sometimes mess up everything.”
- “I’m a loser.”
All this negative self-talk is just giving yourself evidence to check your idiosyncrasies. If you let it, your self-controlling beliefs will debilitate you.
Change the way you think.
Why don’t people understand that it’s okay not to be okay? There’s no reason to constantly beat yourself over things you can’t control. No one is perfect, so be highly demanding of yourself.
Below are some tips to increase your self-awareness and stop being so critical.
• Stop making comparisons
It doesn’t matter if your sister has a bigger house and makes more money than you. When you constantly compare yourself to others, you’re sending yourself the message that you’re not good enough. A trillion-dollar industry is built on these comparative natures, but that doesn’t make it worthwhile.
• Accept yourself as you are
There will be times when you can’t do everything you need to do. Don’t punish yourself when you can’t complete something. Don’t care so much what other people think about you. Instead of beating yourself up, remind yourself to try harder next time.
• Be grateful for your blessings
When you express gratitude, it eases your feelings. Being grateful for all the universe has given you is the right mindset. Stop and count your blessings the next time you’re beating yourself up over failure. This game-changer also changes your mood.
• Try to write in a diary
Developing self-awareness is essential, and Journaling gives you pause to reflect on your thoughts. It is better to take out all the frustrations and negativity inside you on a piece of paper. It would help if you had a healthy outlet for your feelings, but you don’t have to beat yourself up.
Final thoughts: give yourself a break; nobody’s perfect
You know nobody is perfect. But why are you trying to make yourself this ideal for a person? Being hard on yourself is something everyone does. It will happen no matter what you do. But you can choose to deal with these thoughts as they enter your mind.
You have the power to blow them up and disable them. Life happens. If you don’t stumble and fall a few times along the way, how will you learn any lessons you might ever use? Perfection is something that only exists in people’s minds. But this cannot achieve anything.
There is always more to do, create, see, and be more. The urge to want more can motivate or destroy you, but the choice is up to you.