Men Who Were Abusive & Controlling Partners Share What Helped Change Their Toxic Behaviour
Men are fed this concept ever since they’re youngsters that they must be robust and be in management. This takes the type of poisonous masculinity, if not dealt with properly, and might result in failed relationships, abusive nature and self-destruction.
However, it doesn’t imply that people who find themselves poisonous are doomed to be that method endlessly.
Sometimes, you wouldn’t even realise that you’re a poisonous accomplice till someday, somebody both straight up tells you in your face otherwise you discover that the explanation why none of your relationships labored prior to now, is perhaps your controlling and abusive behaviour.
A previously poisonous man on Reddit shared his story and requested different males to pitch in with their expertise and what actually modified them.
He wrote, “I was one hell of a toxic boyfriend when I was a teenager into my 20’s. That came with everything bad about it (controlling, possessive, jealous).” He stated that seeing his accomplice damage led him into self-awareness and tried to higher himself.
“Share your stories men. We can have shame of who we were, but we can be proud of who we are trying to be”, he added.
Here are essentially the most healthful solutions from the thread:
1. Being Around Female Friends
“Having women friends that I grew to care for in a platonic way. Made my toxic views toward women melt away. I was very close to neckbeard territory when I was 19. So much cringe in my past.”
2. Age & Maturity
“I used to be a really bitter person but eventually, I just grew up. I realized there was no point in holding on to my hatred and that I was the reason for my failings. After that I started taking more steps to improve my life and surprise, I’m a lot happier now.”
3. Self-Realization & Not Watching Kabir Singh
“Self-introspection, realizing all women aren’t carbon copies. Just because a few did you wrong does NOT mean they all will. I’d say the biggest thing to stay away from are any youtube videos, articles, etc. that demonize either gender because it is VERY easy to fall into that trap these days.”
4. Letting Go
“I realized that I was frustrated with an unchangeable situation. It weighed on me, and I started getting passive-aggressive, then toxic. One day I realized my two options, accept the situation and be genuinely okay with it, or leave. I left… best thing I ever did. I didn’t even realize I was toxic until I was fully healed and reflected on the past.”
5. Constructive Criticism
“Constructive criticism works for me. A lot of toxic behaviour is a group thing, may not happen when you are alone, it may happen with your peers or while you are intoxicated or something or someone triggers it. It won’t simply go away, you need to reflect and accept that is going to take a while like therapy.”
“One of the women I hurt and whom I deeply cared about told me to look for help.”
Kudos to those males for realising they have been hurting their companions and took to a social media platform to share their pearls of knowledge for different males battling the identical.
This thread proves that anybody and everyone seems to be able to change, if they’re prepared.