Chances are that you’ve met somebody who’s a narcissist at one level or another. After all, narcissism is not all that unusual – at simply over 6 % of the U.S. inhabitants.
Actual narcissism is a real character disorder referred to as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. NPD is characterized by a necessity for fixed admiration, feeling overly vital, and a close to absence of empathy for others.
This article focuses on the inner workings of a narcissist’s thoughts…what makes them “tick.” With that stated, let’s get began.
Here are ten projections from the thoughts of a narcissist:
1. “I require constant attention…why am I not getting it?”
Narcissists are incapable of managing emotions about their self-worth; as such, they rely upon others to offer a way of worthiness. Psychologists have two phrases for this irregular dependency: “emotional supply: and “narcissistic supply.”
In actuality, narcissists typically feel empty and faulty, carry these emotions with them, and are always on the lookout for somebody to “resupply” their insatiable want for approval.
2. “I need to take care of and focus on only myself.”
This one is simply plain ole’ self-centeredness taken to an excessive. Narcissists care about themselves, always putting their wants first, and can’t fathom the phrases “sacrifice” or “compromise.”
While self-centered people can, and sometimes do, change their perspective on what’s vital (particularly as they mature), narcissists may possibly keep an excessively self-centered mindset for the remainder of their lives.
3. “Time to move on from this relationship….”
Question: how can somebody commit to a different one once they solely care about themselves? Answer: they’ll. Narcissists have a voracious urge for food for “pick me up’s,” which is also applicable to relationships.
Dating a narcissist always appears to comply with a predetermined route: they meet somebody who caters to their fixed emotional wants; preliminary emotions of pleasure subside, so they’ll stroll away or discover another person. The notion that they’ve simply badly damaged somebody by no means surfaces in their thoughts.
4. “I’m right, you’re wrong, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
In the real world, most people can acknowledge once they’ve been mistaken; it’s powerful but manageable. Narcissists cannot admit once they’re mistaken, even when introduced with the truth after truth. Why?
Because of their misplaced sense of superiority, a “false self,” utterly incapable of admitting when somebody’s appropriate and once they’re not.
5. “Why am I in a constant battle with myself? It’s nothing….”
“There’s a long-standing belief…that narcissists feel great about themselves…Savvier researchers recognized that the emperor had no clothes…They hooked the narcissists up to a lie detector (fake) and then asked them how they felt about themselves. Suddenly, their high self-esteem vanished,” explains Dr. Craig Malkin.
Narcissism is an enigmatic condition, and this truth applies when evaluating the state and one’s predispositions reminiscent of confidence. Most consultants consider that narcissists have developed a coping mechanism – a rewiring of the brain – that lets them exhibit confidence regardless of deep-rooted fears of failure or weak spots.
6. “Why does everyone feel so bad for him/her?”
As mentioned above, narcissists don’t ponder any pain inflicted on others. Similarly, they don’t consider different opinions, ideas, or emotions that battle with their own.
One particular person in a former relationship with a narcissist described her experience: “My partner would just hurt my feelings when things were going well. When I would question him about it, he would make up excuses and tell me I’m wrong for feeling the way I did….”
7. “I deserve this…why don’t I have it?”
Narcissists don’t possess a mature mindset. When it involves wanting one thing, a narcissist will typically behave like a toddler who by no means fairly grasped that they’re not in the middle of the world.
Another fast real-world instance:
Dan tried to persuade his spouse that he shouldn’t heat dinner himself when he gets home late, so she shouldn’t exit in the evening with the children.
Stay stylish, Dan.
8. “My life is boring… time to stir something up….”
The phrase “emotional roller coaster” is probably one of the simplest ways to explain how others feel when dealing with a narcissist. The motive that others bear the brunt of a narcissist’s antics is that they (shock, shock!) lack emotional intelligence. In a manner, the stirred-up emotions of somebody on the receiving finish of a narcissist’s tomfoolery display the “soaring and crashing” of the narcissist’s interior emotional world.
9. “Why didn’t he/she call me back?”
This may be the best instance of a narcissist’s obscure thought course on dating and relationships. As discussed, they’ll rapidly dismiss somebody they’ve been in a relationship with and never give the particular person a second thought.
Here’s what one therapist stated about narcissists and dating/relationships: “…they do get rejected quite often. When this happens…they feel depressed, agitated, and worthless. They forget about all the women they have run from and only remember the ones where they didn’t get a second date.”
10. “Who are you to shame me?”
The narcissistic have a fantastic brew of feelings stirring beneath their seemingly assured look. They’ve developed a fragile character, so acquainted with emotions of inadequacy and insecurity that they don’t feel upset, embarrassed, or shamed by another person’s criticism.
Instead of appearing like a grownup, they’ll become distant and avoidant. Sometimes, they’ll become influential themselves and show outward hostility.
“Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.” – Jeffrey Kluger, creator of The Narcissist Next Door