“He Is Dating Someone Else But Still Contacts Me.” – 15 Tips If This Is You

What do you do if a person who’s not single retains contacting you?

It’s a extra frequent challenge than many understand, and it provides you an actual dilemma.

Here’s the fundamental information of what to do – and what to keep away from in any respect prices.

1) He most likely simply needs to have intercourse

When a person is dating someone else but still contacts you, the commonest cause is very simple:

He needs some motion on the facet.

It’s not romantic and it’s not sophisticated, but it is true.

This is normally the explanation why a person who’s taken begins texting you. Whether you’re an outdated girlfriend, a good friend and even simply someone he met randomly at work or in a restaurant…

He’s pinging you courtesy of the one-eyed snake.

As Shikha Desai writes:


2) He’s dipping a toe within the water

A standard cause why a man who’s dating someone else goes again to acquainted pastures is as a result of he’s dipping a toe within the water.

The water in this case is you…

The toe is, nicely…you get the final thought.

He needs to see how you’ll reply to his pleasant, flirtatious or humorous greetings.

He could attain out by textual content or a fast name that he simply “happened” to think about you and determined to ring you up.

An alternate route is when he goes for the complete drama bundle, calling you throughout a disaster or when he actually wants assist.

It could even be real.

But the purpose is that if this man isn’t single, why is he turning to you in his time of want and never his vital different or household?

It’s a question that basically must be requested.

3) He’s in an open relationship

Another potential cause why this man is contacting you regardless of not being single is that he’s “kind of” single…

What I imply is that he’s in an open relationship or exploring being in a single.

Personally, I wouldn’t go close to an open relationship with a ten foot (and even simply-over-half-a-foot, technically) pole.

But if that’s one thing you’re comfy with or inquisitive about pursuing, you do you.

Just understand that what he tells you about his present associate and her degree of openness to an open relationship…

May not be the Gospel fact…

4) He senses insecurity in you

One of crucial causes a man tries to contact you when he’s already taken is that he’s gotten the impression you’re going to bend to his will.

Through one cause or one other, he thinks that he can seduce or persuade you that he’s price your time for a dalliance.

Whether your fault or not, if you’re giving off these vibes it could possibly be as a result of you’re still feeling like you’re “missing” one thing and are looking for consideration and validation to know that you’re worthwhile…

The fact is, most of us overlook an extremely vital component in our lives:

The relationship we have now with ourselves.

I learnt about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his genuine, free video on cultivating wholesome relationships, he provides you the instruments to plant your self on the heart of your world.

He covers a few of the main errors most of us make in {our relationships}, similar to codependency habits and unhealthy expectations. Mistakes most of us make with out even realizing it.

So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-altering recommendation?

Well, he makes use of methods derived from historic shamanic teachings, but he places his personal fashionable-day twist on them. He could also be a shaman, but his experiences in love weren’t a lot totally different to yours and mine.

Until he discovered a method to overcome these frequent points. And that’s what he needs to share with you.

So if you’re able to make that change in the present day and domesticate wholesome, loving relationships, relationships you know you deserve, try his easy, real recommendation.

Click here to watch the free video.

5) He misses the deep conversations you as soon as had

One of the highest causes {that a} man who’s not out there could also be reaching again out to you is that he misses the deep conversations you as soon as had.

The implication, by default, is that he’s not attending to have these equally deep conversations in his present relationships.

There are many causes for a breakup and yours, like everybody’s, are distinctive.

But the doubtless factor right here is this man’s new associate solely satisfies him in sure methods and never in others.

He is feeling a scarcity within the space of mental and emotional connection. And this manifests in a sense that he actually needs to speak to someone like you.

Which means your conversations should be fairly good certainly.

If they have been so good, it’s price occupied with what else was lacking that led to your relationship finally not figuring out.

6) He is looking for sympathy and understanding

Whatever the explanations you parted methods or aren’t collectively, a standard cause why an connected man will get in contact exterior his relationship is that he feels misunderstood or unappreciated.

For no matter cause, he feels you could possibly be a supply of sympathy and understanding.

He could be fishing randomly and hoping one among his contacts or exes finally ends up being sympathetic and a very good individual to speak to.

But he additionally could have rigorously chosen you, considering of you as a sort and smart one who will get him when his present associate gained’t.

Of course this brings up the apparent level:

If you get him so significantly better than his present different half then why is he together with her?

7) He’s having a battle together with his present associate

Another one of many prime the reason why a person who’s not out there could also be reaching out to you, is that he’s having a tough time together with his present associate.

We’ve all accomplished it – at the very least I’ve.

You’re having a tough time in your romantic life, so you attain out to someone who looks as if a protected and comforting shore throughout this dangerous time.

Now you don’t wish to turn into his doormat or be used as an emotional or bodily pillow by this man – you’ll really feel dangerous within the morning.

But on the similar time there are conditions the place this sort of confiding can lead into one thing actual and lasting.

For that cause I like to recommend speaking as brazenly as potential and asking him if he’s doing OK in his relationship.

Whatever you do, keep away from him utilizing you as a second-string quarterback to fall again on when his starter is injured or being annoying.

8) He misses what you as soon as had

If you was concerned with this man, he could also be reaching out as a result of he misses what you as soon as had.

Not to be sappy, but it’s laborious to measure the impression we have now on someone’s coronary heart, regardless of how lengthy we have been with them.

He could have fond reminiscences of your time collectively and be regretting no matter it was that drove you aside.

In a technique or one other, he’s signaling that he needs you again.

And at the very least a few of the time he’s selecting you over his present associate.

This can result in a protracted interval of feeling like you’re getting strung alongside, nonetheless.

So if you’re probably regretting parting methods as nicely, then there could come a time you want to attract a line within the sand and ask him whether or not he’s going to be together with her or with you.

9) He needs space to turn into a hero

Another one of many prime indicators a taken man reaches out to you is that his present relationship isn’t giving him what he’s in search of.

In many circumstances, it’s as a result of his present girl isn’t treating him in a means that makes him wish to commit…

Much much less to get him to fall in love…

You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their interior hero.

I realized about this from the hero intuition. Coined by relationship professional James Bauer, this fascinating idea is about what actually drives males in relationships, which is ingrained of their DNA.

And it’s one thing most girls don’t know something about.

Once triggered, these drivers make males into the heroes of their very own lives. They really feel higher, love tougher, and commit stronger once they discover someone who is aware of how you can set off it.

Now, you could also be questioning why it’s known as “the hero instinct”? Do guys really want to really feel like superheroes to decide to a girl?

Not in any respect. Forget about Marvel. You gained’t must play the damsel in misery or purchase your man a cape.

The fact is, it comes without charge or sacrifice to you. With only some small modifications in how you strategy him, you’ll faucet into part of him no girl has tapped into earlier than.

The best factor to do is to take a look at James Bauer’s wonderful free video right here. He shares some straightforward tips to get you began, similar to sending him a 12 phrase textual content that can set off his hero intuition instantly.

Because that’s the fantastic thing about the hero intuition.

It’s solely a matter of understanding the suitable issues to say to make him understand that he needs you and solely you.

Click right here to look at the free video.

10) He’s utilizing his present relationship as jealousy bait

This a reasonably nasty cause, but it occurs way more than most wish to admit.

They miss an ex or still have a difficulty with them, and rub their new relationship in an ex’s face to extend jealousy and to brag.

The purpose is twofold: revenge and feeling like they “won…” by making you get jealous…

As nicely as hoping that your emotions of jealousy or annoyance will get you to chase them…

The first goal may be laborious to defend in opposition to: by the point you see your ex with a brand new woman or hear about it you would possibly already be feeling jealousy earlier than you can assist it.

But the second is as much as you. Even if you really feel agitated or jealous, you don’t have to provide in and reply.

Block him and transfer on together with your life.

11) He needs to remain as pals

Sometimes an ex reaches out to speak to you as a result of he genuinely does wish to keep pals.

I admit that it’s not as frequent as some assume, but it positively does occur.

I’ve loads of pals who stay on good and even pleasant phrases with their former companions.

He could also be contacting you as a result of he needs this form of a pleasant reference to anyone he was as soon as intimate with.

Two caveats right here: if you don’t have a romantic historical past you ought to ask your self why he’s reaching out to you moderately than someone he’s not probably sexually interested in…

And if you do have a romantic historical past you must ensure that his present associate is OK with him being pals with an ex.

Because if not, that’s a boundary you ought to positively respect.

12) He needs to test if you’re with someone

Another crucial cause why an ex would possibly attain out to you regardless of not being single is that he needs to know your standing.

Are you taken or still single?

By touching base he’s making an attempt to maintain observe of the place you’re at and assess any future potential.

This is principally one model of dipping his toe within the water that I talked about above.

The distinction is that it may be a part of broader not so nice conduct together with benching.

This is the place he retains you on the backburner and calls you again out to “play” when he will get bored of his present relationship or sexual associate(s).

Unless you’re seeking to be one participant on a big intercourse staff serving this man’s pecadillos, then this most likely isn’t suited to you and you’re higher off placing him on mute.

13) He’s bored

These days it looks as if everybody’s busier than an ambidextrous juggler within the Middle Ages, but there are still moments of free time…

And in that free time, this man could also be losing interest.

You can’t assume that he’s at all times amused or engaged simply because he’s with someone.

He would possibly simply be genuinely bored and reaching out to see what you’re as much as.

If you’re bored too, go for it…

You can at all times cease if issues get X-rated or transcend what you’re in search of.

But the possibility that it’ll simply find yourself being a very good chat is price pursuing.

Just ensure you’re not going to get emotions for him that may’t be reciprocated and that he’s not sneaking round on his present associate and emotionally dishonest on her.

14) He needs actual closure in your relationship

If you have been dating this man and by no means actually had agency closure on why you break up up, he could also be reaching again out seeking that.

Whether you are keen and even capable of give it to him is one other matter.

After all, it’s not at all times clear why a relationship broke up and evaluation solely goes up to now.

Maybe there have been a large number of causes: timing, chemistry, totally different values, personal points that got here up…

Maybe there was one large factor that rubbed you the mistaken means like feeling a scarcity of sexual attraction…

But no matter it is, do your finest to attempt to be understanding and provides him the closure he needs.

If nothing else, it would do extra to make sure he stops pestering you.

15) He has power dedication points

Some guys love the joys of the chase and have an actual major problem with dedication.

It’s not only a fashionable line, it’s a psychological actuality.

No matter how attracted and they’re, some males get right into a relationship and instantly seek for an eject button.

The thought of being dedicated to 1 individual with none escape route completely terrifies them.

This is normally linked to personal points and childhood trauma.

But suffice to say that it’s positively one cause why a man who’s not even on the market could be messaging you.

The question is:

How will you reply?

Should you proceed contact or reduce him off?

This is the essential question, actually.

If a person who’s taken is contacting you, your finest guess is typically to chop him off.

Respecting your self is a giant a part of constructing that stable relationship with your self that I used to be writing about earlier.

If you do sense potential for one thing actual and he’s actually set to go away his present relationship, you’re at all times free to take an opportunity.

Just bear in mind to by no means be afraid to state your situations and persist with them.

Somebody who really needs to be with you will rise to fulfill you at your degree as an alternative of demanding you sink to theirs.

Back to top button