When it involves work, there’s a sure notion that it’s unmanly for males to be contributing to family chores. Somehow the considered doing unpaid labour appears disconcerting to some. But is it vital for a person’s value to be dependent solely on their capability to contribute financially to the family?
Over the years we’ve grown accustomed to seeing solely ladies within the kitchen, which is a matter in itself because it unjustly resigns the position of family chores to them; a dangerous stereotype that must be overcome.
We caught up with just a few males who have been comfy breaking that mould of their lives. Whether you need to name them ‘Househusbands’, ‘Homemakers’ or no matter else you need to, these males aren’t afraid to get their fingers messy.
Here are seven desi males speaking about their experiences as house makers and home husbands:
“I never felt that compulsion, honestly. In my family, it’s always been my mother and aunts who have worked… who have been the breadwinners. Growing up I anyway did ghar ka saara kaam. Became quite good at it. And Payal* honestly isn’t that great at all this, especially cooking. Can’t take it. So I decided to make the house my arena. It works out well both ways. ” – Vishal*, 29
“We’re financially secure, even on Surabhi’s income. That kind of money comes with its own responsibilities. As did my previous job. And even though after Amyrah happened, I wanted to play a more active role as the caretaker, I still feel homemaking has felt more natural to me than anything else. And I still feel the manliest I’ve ever felt.” Lokesh*, 41
“Lost my job last year. Haven’t really been doing that well ever since, you know? I don’t think I ever imagined myself as a “House husband”, however simply somebody holding fort for now. At least till I really feel a bit of extra assured. Yash* has been extraordinarily supportive about this. Who is aware of what’ll occur sooner or later?.” – Rohit*, 33
“The concept of a homemaker is difficult to accept sometimes. I always thought I’d be the breadwinner, the responsible adult. But it turned out to be too much pressure that I never signed up for. At times I feel such terms can be repulsive to hear for some men.” – Prosenjit*, 26
“I keep getting to hear unsolicited remarks on who’s ‘wearing the pants’ in our relationship. After 3 years of homemaking it stops really mattering you know? Who says men can’t be house husbands or homemakers or whatever you wanna call it? My house is way more functional than any of theirs. And I’m damn proud of the fact that I’ve contributed to that in my way as a homemaker. Just because house work isn’t considered paid work doesn’t mean it isn’t actual effort. Whether it be my mom, or now me. we’re keeping our homes safe, clean, happy and well fed. That reminds me, you try this risotto I made for Ankita last week. It’ll blow your mind!” – Subhash*, 31
“Most of my work had become from-home anyway, and freelance projects stopped being consistent a long time back. So logically it came to a place where Sandra and I spoke about the entire scene. Her work has different demands from mine and I realised I was spending way too much time waiting around for work to come in. That started taking a toll on my self esteem. It was difficult at first… and it still is sometimes. But now I’m far more comfortable with the routine. There are people who make fun of me for it, Sandra’s annoying aunt keeps commenting on it. Ab whenever I’m washing the dishes I just imagine it’s her irritating face and take out the frustration. Kaam bhi ho jaata hai aur sukoon bhi milta hai.” – Amitoj*, 31
“I’m still new to being called a homemaker. However it did get me in touch with my secret love for cooking. For instance, I never knew that I’d be this good at making dal makhani. My friends and family used to find the fact that I was chill being a house husband pretty weird. But when they tasted the food I cooked, they shut up. I’m thinking I’ll just start an Instagram page for my dishes. Wait a minute, if a brand sponsors, will it mean that I won’t be a house husband anymore?” – Kunal* 26
We’re simply glad to see extra males are expressing themselves in ways in which have been beforehand unusual. Would you be keen to think about homemaking as a substitute? Do tell us within the feedback!