How many occasions have you ever heard the saying that no one’s excellent? While most individuals know this, their lives can nonetheless be upset by a false façade. Perfectionism and nervousness usually go hand in hand, making life tough for you and anybody in your circle.
Of course, something that you simply do is price your greatest shot. Where would your life be with out desires? When you’re employed laborious and do your greatest, there’s no telling what you may accomplish.
However, the shackles of perfectionism are extra of a hindrance than a assist. Positive achievers understand that making errors is regular and is a strategy to be taught and develop. Perfectionists could lack personal development as a result of any mistake is seen as a full failure.
When you’re a constructive achiever, you may outline your targets and work out methods for finishing them. Often, perfectionists can’t keep targeted on their desires as a result of they’re too nervous that the method could have a flaw. Instead of accepting a problem, they might miss out on many blessings of their lives.
The Link Between Perfectionism and Anxiety
According to an article revealed by the Mayo Clinic, it’s widespread to have some nervousness. However, it turns into an nervousness dysfunction when you have got overwhelming fear and concern about on a regular basis issues. It’s a feeling of stress and being afraid that you simply’ll lose management.
The hyperlink between perfectionism and nervousness is obvious when you think about the ideas behind every situation. Alex Dimitriu M.D. wrote an article on Psychology Today that states perfectionism can embody self-criticism, concern of failure, and impossibly excessive expectations. These signs could also be rooted in an nervousness dysfunction.
Behaviors of a Perfectionist
Being a perfectionist goes past doing a good job. It’s being trapped in expectations that aren’t primarily based on actuality. Instead of doing all your greatest and finishing your targets, perfectionism leaves you spinning in circles of hysteria.
Most people who find themselves caught in perfectionism prefer to brag about it as a result of it briefly boosts their esteem. It’s a “better than you” angle that’s a massive turn-off to most individuals. Perfectionists don’t need to admit that they’re afraid of creating errors and being lower than excellent.
Can you see your self in any of those examples? Maybe perfectionism is holding you again out of your greatest life. Here are 9 behaviors of perfectionism and how they can be causing you anxiety.
1. Afraid of Failure
Your parents taught you to do your best and nothing less. You also want to succeed and be proud of your accomplishments. If you are hampered by perfectionism, anything less than being perfect is a failure.
Such a restrictive attitude may keep you from trying new ventures because you’re afraid of failing. You may also procrastinate because of this fear. When you are so caught up in equating perfection with success, it can build up a lot of anxiety.
2. Want It All or Nothing
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do your best. Working hard to achieve your goals is a virtue. Most people try their best and can be satisfied at the end of the day with their efforts.
Unfortunately, perfectionists aren’t happy with the best they can do. If their results aren’t unrealistically perfect, they may become anxious, depressed, and moody. The union of perfectionism and anxiety robs them of any satisfaction and the drive to do new things.
3. Creates Unrealistic Expectations
Assume you’re a perfectionist about your home, and you’re constantly flipping through magazines for pictures of the perfect house. While it’s a beautiful idea to find inspiration for various projects in your life, you can’t make unfair comparisons.
Did you realize that those glamorous photos of homes and gardens are usually staged? It’s unrealistic to think that your home will be as perfect and spot-free as these examples. These idealized photos neglect the fact that you must live in your home, and it will get messy at times, especially with kids.
Perfectionism and anxiety also can affect your self-image. No honest person can live up to the Hollywood photos of models. The lights, cameras, airbrushing, and computer tricks are blatantly deceptive.
4. Overly Defensive
When you expect all you do to be perfect, you’ll often want praise from others. If you don’t get enough compliments or someone offers a bit of constructive criticism, it may put you on the defense.
Perfectionists are often highly anxious people, and they will defend their skewed sense of accomplishment. Do you often feel angry and resentful because people aren’t living up to your expectations? It could be a red flag for perfectionism.
Even with your best efforts, you may not accomplish every goal you want, and it happens to everyone. Unfortunately for the perfectionist, they are so focused on anything negative that they can’t see anything positive.
Perfectionism and anxiety often bring depression into a tangled web. Maybe you feel depressed because every goal in your life didn’t work out perfectly. Have you stopped to consider the many objectives that you have accomplished already?
6. Often Procrastinate
It doesn’t make sense that people who are perfectionists are often procrastinators. While they view avoidance as a bad habit, they may often procrastinate because of their anxiety. In this state of mind, they are so worried that their task won’t be perfect that they end up doing nothing at all.
In a study published by McNair’s Scholars Journal, Carin Echols calls this a Jekyll and Hyde Paradox. Echols says that some individuals can positively use procrastination, particularly those that work effectively below stress. However, it’s normally a adverse side that takes its cue from unrealistic expectations and concern of failure.
7. Low Self-Esteem
If you have got low shallowness, you might assume that you should work more durable than anyone else. You could also be unfairly crucial of your self and consider that perfection is your solely key to redemption. The downside is that when your fantasy targets don’t work out, your shallowness could dip even decrease, inflicting nervousness and despair.
8. Lack of Enjoyment
Part of happening trip is having fun with the journey to your vacation spot. The identical is true for specializing in a job and finishing it. For most individuals, the method is simply as thrilling and rewarding as reaching the purpose.
The identical can’t be stated of perfectionists. Since they view duties by way of the fogged lenses of procrastination and nervousness, their positivity is minimal. They could fret a lot about doing every step completely that they by no means discover pleasure.
Think of an instance of an uptight host. They are sometimes so anxious to make the night excellent that they’ll’t get pleasure from time with their visitors. They usually overlook that persons are extra necessary than placing on a wonderful manufacturing.
9. Often Overly Critical
Perfectionism and nervousness create a darkish vortex that always impacts these round you. If you’re a perfectionist, you most likely have unfair expectations of all people else. You could are usually extra crucial and shift the blame when issues don’t go your manner.
These are sometimes the people who find themselves unreasonable and impolite to the waitstaff and others who work in public. They need every thing and everybody to be excellent, and they’ll be the primary to criticize when it’s not. Perfectionists usually expertise strained relationships, each personal and skilled.
Three Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism (and thus, serving to to cease nervousness!)
Part of being a fallible human is that you may develop unhealthy traits resembling perfectionism. While you must all the time have excessive requirements, you should preserve them inside the bounds of actuality. Here are three steps to contemplate for overcoming these thought patterns.
1. Take off the Superhero Cape
The sooner you understand that no one’s excellent, together with your self, the earlier you may take a breather from perfectionism. When you’re overwhelmed with a adverse thought, exchange it with a constructive one. For instance: “I may not be a perfect parent, but I am trying to be the best I can be.”
2. Consider the Big Picture
If you get lost within the particulars, it could allow you to to concentrate on the outcomes. Yes, there are going to be studying curves in attaining your targets. If you’re tempted to stress about a mistake within the particulars, attempt to ask your self if it issues ultimately.
3. Learn to Compromise
Some perfectionists get a little conceited of their opinions about how issues needs to be completed. Do you cease and contemplate different individuals’s ideas and concepts? When you make compromises, you might discover that your manner wasn’t so excellent in spite of everything.
Final Thoughts on Overcoming Your Tendency to Perfectionism and Anxiety
Are you uninterested in the nervousness and different adverse feelings that perfectionism causes? It’s time to take a deep breath and cease placing unreal expectations on your self and others. You’ll quickly uncover that it’s usually the imperfect moments that make life so stunning and distinctive.