Sex with a new partner for the first time can be very nerve-wracking. You never know what to expect and may worry about what she will expect from you.
You might be surprised how much experience she has and how you would measure up to past lovers. What are the signs of being sexually experienced? And how exactly do you handle it?
How can you tell if a girl has slept with too many guys?
The reality is that there is no way to tell how many sexual partners someone has. The truth is that it doesn’t matter. If you like someone and they like you, what matters is your connection rather than any previous sexual encounters they may have had.
Being a sexually experienced person has very little to do with how many sexual partners you have.
It has everything to do with the level of maturity you show around sex and physical intimacy.
A woman may have only one sexual partner during a long-term relationship and still show more sexual experiences than someone who has slept with dozens of different people.
The bottom line is that the experience is less about the numbers and more about the attitude it takes to have sex.
How do you know a girl is sexually experienced? 25 signs to watch
1. she knows what she wants
Experience is not about how many companions you have. It’s not about being completely wild in the bedroom (though it can be). It’s not about being a total vixen. One of the most evident signs of a woman’s sexual experience is when she already knows what she likes.
It denotes a certain level of sexual maturity. she’s figured out what it does for him and what turns him on. After all, it’s hard to self-knowledge your priorities unless you’re aware of your body and comfortable with it.
2. she doesn’t just lie there
One of those sex pet peeves that people complain about is a girl who lies back during sex. Sedentary and unconnected, it feels like a one-sided sexual encounter.
Rather than being a reflection of being spoiled in bed, it may be down to a lack of sexual experience. If this is new enough for her, she may not know what to do or feel intimidated about taking an active role.
The more sexually experienced a woman is, the more she participates in sex. The more she is likely to move his body or switch positions.
3. She is not afraid to touch you
**Obvious point warning** but boys and girls have very different tools. Neither gender comes with an instruction manual. So when starting your sexual journey, you have to figure out what to do with the parts you don’t use.
A woman who has some sexual experience under her belt will not be ashamed to touch you with confidence. And not just under your pants. she isn’t afraid of physical contact.
She will not hold back from physical touch or physical intimacy.
4. She’ll tell you what she likes
How do you know if someone has experience in bed? One of the most obvious signs is that they’ve found their voice.
Talking about sex can be intimidating, especially when you are still getting to know the other person. But just as communication is essential in all areas of the relationship, the same goes for the bedroom.
A woman who can say what she wants and needs from you has a lot of sexual maturity.
As one man put it on Reddit:
“Experienced women know exactly what they want and how they want it. They are not afraid to communicate their desires. Inexperienced women usually don’t know how to ask for what they want. This creates miscommunication between partners. But, if the woman is open and honest about what she wants, it should not matter. Any man who cares for his partner will do whatever possible to ensure she has a good time.”
5. She’ll talk when she doesn’t like something (and tell you how to fix it)
As a follow-up to the above hint, a seasoned woman won’t tell you when she likes something; she will notify you when she doesn’t.
It can feel easy to give positive feedback. Negative feedback needs to be handled well, especially on such a sensitive topic as sex.
An experienced woman will know how to give constructive feedback. She won’t tell you what isn’t working for her. She’ll explain why and what to do instead.
6. She’s open to experimentation
So you think you’ve tried everything to try in bed? Well, guess again. Sexually experienced girls may be more open to experimentation. Maybe she’s learned that you never know what works until you try it. This is true whether you talk about food, music, or sex.
There is always more to learn. And an experienced lady in the bedroom wouldn’t be afraid to suggest something new to try. Even when she’s not down to try something or knows she doesn’t like it, she won’t feel bad for bringing it to you.
7. She’ll look you in the eye
Eye contact is essential. It is a way for us to connect and evokes desire. But it can also feel intense. A direct gaze can make you feel under the spotlight. But it can also enhance a connection and add extra sexual intensity.
It’s funny that we might be able to take off our clothes and have sex with someone, but we’re afraid to look them in the eye when we do.
Making constant eye contact in the bedroom takes a certain confidence and comfort. This is a sure sign of a sexually experienced and mature woman.
8. She is happy to lead during sex
A sexually experienced woman will be happy to change sexual positions, direct you where she wants you, or slow down the pace when you get overzealous.
It’s not about taking over, but her experience has given her the confidence to take control when she wants or needs to. She won’t leave all the work to you. She is pleased to call the shots between the sheets.
9. She initiates intimacy
The act of initiating physical intimacy is a big deal in a relationship. But the old sex stereotypes pin men as more sexually outspoken, and women as sexually passive can mean that initiation is often left up to us.
An experienced woman will not feel embarrassed or intimidated to initiate sex or physical contact. She doesn’t need to wait for a man to heat things. She feels confident enough to insist on what she wants.
A seasoned woman happy to initiate sex is a positive for a relationship.
Research shows that sexual satisfaction is more excellent in relationships when partners initiate sex equally or when women initiate sex at least occasionally.
10. she will not be pressurized
A sexually experienced woman has firm boundaries. She isn’t afraid to say no to things she doesn’t want to do. She won’t feel obligated to go with something just because you suggest it or because she knows you want to.
She won’t put up with a guy trying to pressure her or manipulate her into something she’s uncomfortable with (which shouldn’t be anyway).
His clear sexual boundaries will eventually work in your favor. That means you’re free to ask her what she likes and doesn’t like without feeling guilty or uncomfortable that she doesn’t want to.
11. she’s not embarrassed to talk about sex
I have a motto in the bedroom. If you can’t talk about it, you probably shouldn’t. Conversations about sex are meaningful.
You should be able to express your priorities and concerns to each other. You should be able to talk about any strange things that might happen.
You should be able to have an honest conversation about consent. You should be able to discuss certain body parts and normal bodily functions.
But the truth is that all this can seem strange to anyone. And certainly has felt awkward on several occasions.
It is only through experience and developing sexual maturity that it becomes easier. This is why being able to talk freely about sex is a sure sign of experiencing it.
12. she doesn’t have “rules” for having sex
One of the last signs of sexual maturity is doing what works for you. It’s easy to get hung up on societal expectations or “do’s” and “don’t” about sex.
One area where this can happen is making rules about when you should have sex. But a sexually experienced woman doesn’t get hung up on other people’s rulebooks or timetables.
She doesn’t care whether you decide to get intimate on the first date or the fiftieth. When it’s right, it’s right.
What matters is that you are both on the same page, and what you decide to do together feels good.
13. she knows what she’s doing
A sexually experienced woman’s bit cheap is when she knows what she’s doing. If you’ve already had sex and she has tricks that blow your mind, let’s face it, they weren’t programmed into her; she learned them.
Trial and error are how most of us are good at anything.
So if she is experimenting with different techniques, chances are she is very confident in her ability to please you.
14. She laughs off awkward moments
Laughter in the bedroom is a tricky thing to navigate well. For example, nervous laughter can kill the mood quickly and is often a reflection of discomfort.
But sex is never as glamorous or spontaneous as it is in movies. And when those painfully awkward moments happen during sex (and they always do at some point), the ability to laugh it off and not take it so seriously is an excellent sign of the experience.
As 32-year-old Hope Dufour points out to the LA Times:
“To be able to laugh at how your body looks and how your body sounds in the bedroom with someone you have been with for years brings you closer and heightens the level of trust,” said DuFour, who has been married for seven years. “And it goes beyond the bedroom. It means you trust each other so much that you can be vulnerable and that you can give and take a tease.”
15. She doesn’t feel the need to perform for you
The truth is that most of us have unrealistic expectations about real-life sexual encounters. Maybe it’s an overly romantic image from Hollywood or an unrealistic myth about how real women are from watching porn.
There’s even a campaign to “bring awareness of porn to school children” so that they understand that it is “scripted and dramatic” rather than a reflection of what real sex would be like.
Sex should never be a performance, but many girls will feel the pressure to do so, bringing an element of artificiality to intimacy.
But a sexually experienced woman wouldn’t feel the need to put on a show. She won’t angle herself just for appearances or artificially. In short, she’s not going to fake it.
16. She’s comfortable in her skin
An experienced woman is more likely to feel naked and confident.
I remember the first time I had sex; she had a blanket covering most of his body. It was not because she did not like his body; she was not used to anyone seeing him naked.
The more experienced and confident a woman is sexual, the less likely she is desperately try to hide parts of herself.
17. She reacts to your body language
A sexually experienced girl will probably be better able to read your signs. She’s likely to know when you’re trying to be flirty and make a move.
This is because women are highly tuned into the signals a man’s body is giving…
They even get the “overall impression” of a guy’s attractiveness and think of him as “hot” or “not” based on these body language cues.
18. she knows how to tease
The art of teasing is very subtle. It’s less about overly sexy things like lingerie. It’s all about the build-up and knowing what you’re doing.
It is progressive and taps into the mood. It is flirty, playful, and fun, but enough to drive you wild. Teasing is about building anticipation and desire. Doing this is a powerful sign of experience between the sheets.
25. She knows the importance of foreplay
Foreplay is essential for women. And a sexually experienced girl won’t let you get away with leaving it. She won’t put up with “full steam ahead.” She will expect you to take the slower and more sensual route.
Warm-ups are essential for women. As explained on WebMD by the psychological therapist, Dr. Ruth Westheimer:
“A man can think about sex and have an erection, but wanting sex is not enough for most women. Foreplay serves a physical and emotional purpose, helping prepare both the mind and body for sex. Many women need to be kissed, hugged, and caressed to create lubrication in the vagina, which is important for comfortable intercourse.”
Some girls who aren’t confident will let men lead the pace and potentially leave it all. But an experienced woman will not allow a man to get away with it.
Dating someone more sexually experienced
While it can feel intimidating that a woman is sexually experienced or has more experience than you, it’s not bad. It can be a big deal. We easily get caught up in our heads regarding sex, which can cause us to overthink things.
But it’s important to remember that sex is about building a connection, not performance. And it’s not how much sex you’ve had or haven’t had that defines the quality of your sex.
If you’re dating a sexually experienced woman, here’s how to handle it:
• Don’t judge her or make assumptions
Hopefully, you should never judge a partner based on how many people they have had sex with. It doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy who is more sexually experienced. Double standards are not good.
Be respectful and realize that your partner’s sexual past is none of your business unless they choose to share it with you.
This may bring up insecurities in you, but being jealous or territorial about her sexual history will only push her away. And you look very young and childish.
• Be open and honest about sex
Talk to each other about how you feel sexually, what you want, your expectations, and your desires. And listen to each other about your personal preferences. Ask her what she likes and doesn’t like.
Don’t assume that experience means you know what a partner wants. She is not a mind reader, and neither are you. Nor should you think she’s confident because she’s had many sexual experiences.
Every single sexual encounter is unique, and so is every sexual partner. So you are always learning from scratch again.
Be prepared to communicate in the bedroom, even if it sounds awkward. This will show her that you respect her. And you want to know how to please her.
While some experience can help, it’s important to remember that neither of you has more experience with each other than the other.
You can learn every sex trick out there; it won’t matter if it’s not his thing.
Good sex is less about acrobatics in the bedroom and more about learning to tune into each other, and finding out what makes each other tick will guarantee better sex for both of you.
So it may be better to forget how much experience you both have and realize that sex together is still unknown territory for both of you.