10 Signs He Is Secretly Married (And You’re Just The Mistress…)
You met this guy and thought he was attractive. He’s single… well, at least he said so. But lately, for some strange reason, you’ve had a gut feeling that he’s lying—in fact, he’s having an affair!
Time to find out before you get in too deep. In this article, we will talk about ten signs showing that he is married. You are just his mistress.
Signs he is secretly married and you are just his mistress
1. He hates surprises
A man who cheated on his wife is cautious about communicating with you. He wants to make sure he can control and predict each one.
That’s why he hates her when she gives him surprises. Unannounced visits and calls stress him out, which can be a death sentence for him in the oven.
The last thing he wants is for you to meet him while he’s dating his wife or for his wife to find out you exist.
If he seems extremely controlling when he can see you and is frustrated or even angry with you for showing up unexpectedly, then you are probably just a side chick.
2. He plans everything and does not like to compromise
He wants to schedule your every interaction and is very strict.
Things like, “I can’t stay past nine,” “it can only be on the fifth of this month,” or “we can’t go to the mall.”
We all lead busy lifestyles. Sometimes when doing something big or important, planning ahead is essential. For example, you wouldn’t want to go on a date with him when you still have a lot of work to deal with.
But the crucial part of the plans is that most people can afford it, especially on a date. Maybe you can move your date after an hour if something important interferes, or if you have a good time together, you can stay together a little longer.
That is unless there is some CEO whose commitments force him to stay on schedule, unless he likes to compromise at all, it’s doubtful.
3. He cancels plans frequently and suddenly
But to make sure that everything would be planned properly, he would cancel his plans suddenly and without prior notice. Sometimes at the last minute.
You may be angry with him many times for this, and this anger is wholly justified. Of course, he could be a busy man. Or maybe he’s used to making promises to too many people at once and has no choice but to disappoint some of them.
But you need to stop and think for a moment. Why does he do that? Are you ready to be so stable with such a laconic person?
This may signify that he is married because his wife can randomly throw commitments or dates at him. If he doesn’t want him to be suspicious, he has no choice but to go with him.
After all, his first priority is not you, but her.
4. He doesn’t take you home
You have been seeing each other for a while now. But he still hasn’t taken you home. You probably don’t even know where he lives; if you ask, he’ll try to change the subject.
Every time they meet, it is always in a different place. When he goes to have sex, it’s always at his home or a hotel.
This is not normal at all. It means that he has something to hide, and maybe it is his wife or family.
Men who are serious about the women they see would have no problem taking you home. They have nothing to hide, and he can get you used to his life.
5. You don’t know his friends and family
You almost know him. Knowing a little about the man you’re dating just a few weeks into your relationship might be good.
But if you’ve been together for months and still don’t know who he’s hanging out with or haven’t met his friends and family yet…something’s up.
Maybe he’s keeping you out of his circle because he doesn’t have friends (even the most miserable person has at least one friend), but he’s afraid they’ll spill the beans.
On the other hand, if he had nothing to hide, he would try to introduce you to his friends because he wants to get along with them. No one wants to have to choose between their friends and their date.
6. He is secretive and gets frustrated when you start asking
There is such a secret cloud hanging around him that it can suffocate you.
Perhaps this sense of secrecy and mystery made you so interested in him in the first place. But secrecy is probably the worst foundation on which to build your relationship.
After all, healthy relationships are based on mutual trust. And secrets are particularly good at destroying trust.
But for men who cheat on their women, this secret is very important. He won’t want his wife to know about you. He will not want you to know about his wife.
Now try to remove this cover and ask him essential questions: where does he live? What does he do in his spare time? — He will do everything in his power to shut you down. Be incredibly persistent, and he’ll likely dive.
As for his wife, he hangs out with his friends. And as far as you’re concerned, he’s just this charming personality that takes you on dates before disappearing into the shadows.
And he wants to keep it that way.
7. He doesn’t add you on social networks
Men who are serious about dating will do everything in their power to stay in touch with you. It meant asking for your phone number that day. That also means trying to add or follow you on social media.
But the thing about social networks is that it shows people who are following whom.
If he cheats on his wife with you, he won’t bother to add you on social networks or ask you to follow him. If you ask instead, he’ll probably say “no” or say you don’t have an account.
And on the chance to add you on social networks, it will give you an account that is very obviously fake.
So, if he has an account on social networks, his friends and family follow him.
Imagine if he went home and his wife asked him, “honey, who is that girl following you?” or if you wrote something lovey-dovey and tagged it, how pathetic would it be. Only the wife would see that you just ordered her husband.
And, of course, there’s always the fact that “status: married” will be right there on his profile.
8. His stories keep changing
Liars often slip and change minor details in their stories.
He might tell you that he couldn’t talk to you last month because he was out of state on a fishing trip to New Orleans. Ask again, see you next time. He would say he swam in the warm waters of Florida.
The thing about lies is that unless we believe them wholeheartedly, we always forget the little things about them.
Perhaps he remembers that his pretext depended on doing water work in some southern states but recognized which state and which activity.
While this sign alone won’t tell you much other than that he’s a liar, you can tell that your suspicions are justified when you see it combined with at least two other symptoms.
9. He is just not available very often
You know he’s not some super busy CEO, but maybe that’s because he is unavailable.
He doesn’t interact with you that much. When you try to contact him, he doesn’t stay long. Call him often, and he will be crazy about you.
Likely, he is usually unavailable to you because most of his time is spent with his wife. He is mad when she calls him because he doesn’t want his wife to know. According to him, when your wife can’t, you satisfy his needs — whether it’s validation, sex, or both.
And, of course, when he finds some time away from his wife, he will try to hit you as soon as possible.
10. He doesn’t like pictures of you together
Many cheaters are exposed because their spouses find pictures or videos of them online. He would know this and if he’s smart, try his best not to have any photos or videos of you together.
The last thing he wants is to come across a picture of his wife’s husband about you and your ongoing posts about your boyfriend.
Some men may get downright angry with you for insisting on taking photos together.
But an experienced player avoids these images without paying attention to them. Maybe he’ll quietly move out of the way when someone takes a photo, or he can volunteer to be the cameraman whenever he wants to capture something.
So go get your phone and check your pictures. Are there any pictures of the two of you together?
What can you do about it?
1. Keep it yourself
First of all, you need to keep everything to yourself.
Realizing that you can be the other woman in your relationship, you will do a lot and be tempted to do things you will regret later.
If you tell your friends, they might gossip and you’ll become the talk of the town. If you tell your parents and they are not understanding people, they may give you a long lecture about it.
That’s why you should keep your mouth shut until you can calm down and think things through. You can still share this chapter of your life with others later, but not now.
2. Think about your spouse
You must not forget that no matter how much he hurts you, his wife is the biggest victim of his infidelity.
He made her the most significant, sincere promise he could make—marriage—and dragged her through the mud.
If what he did broke your heart, what he did to his wife was to pulverize her and throw her on the bonfire.
Don’t try to steal her from her arms. If anything, it’s best for you to try to find out who she is so you can tell her what her husband is doing.
3. Think about the future
There are people who, if you like it, try to make it yourself. Ask (him) to separate from his wife (divorce with your private parts), because what will he be like (in the House) together (with his father)!
This is not a good idea. He fooled her for a moment. What’s to say he won’t cheat on you when he’s tired of you?
Don’t tell yourself things like, “oh, we have true love; he won’t cheat on me.” It is like seeing someone pick up burning coal and see it burn. Then go, “oh, I’ll do the same. Won’t I burn (Iyam)?
Would you seriously risk it?
4. Break the relationship and leave him
Cut him off when all is said and done, and you are sure that he is cheating on someone with you. It’s not up to you whether you tell him about what he’s doing first or walk away immediately.
But if you want to talk to him first, ensure his heart is rooted. You are there to report your departure. Why? Not arguing about staying with him.
After that, make sure to delete his number and delete other contacts with him.
Polyamory and Open Relationships – When it’s OK to be a “side chick”.
As strange as it may seem, there are times when being a mistress isn’t so bad and can actually be welcomed.
• Participating in an Open Relationship
Wives sometimes take mistresses to their men.
Even calling you “ma’am” in this case can be difficult because the wife would also join in this work from time to time.
When this happens, you may consider yourself part of an open relationship. An open relationship occurs when a husband and wife allow each other to see other people while married. The ‘other people here, be it the chick side or the boy side, would know exactly what was going on.
Of course, when you’re the side chick or side boy of an open relationship, you can expect your fix to be temporary. In the end, you are with him because the wife allows it.
• Being a member of a polyamorous marriage
Legally, people are only allowed to marry one person. This does not mean that marriages must be socially between two people.
Everyone involved in a polyamorous relationship loves each other. You’re not just about being cute and cuddly with your husband — you’d also be an item with your wife and other members of your relationship. You would go shopping together and make dates together.
Granted, this may sound strange, if not disgusting, to a man in a typical relationship, but non-monogamous relationships like this are becoming more and more common.
Perhaps the day will come when open relationships and polyamory are considered “normal” and socially acceptable as monogamous marriage.
There are many different reasons why men cheat. But whatever the reasons, it’s not good to be a guy’s side chick.
He breaks his wife’s trust by going out with you. He reaches his toy with you and takes you on the road. You can’t be sure if he did or not.
While he was busy questioning you, you could find the man who deserves your love and settle down with him.