“Sisters are doin’ it for themselves
Standin’ on their own two feet
And ringin’ on their own bells.”
In the wise words of Eurythmics, times are changing. Whether you choose someone in your life is another matter, but the days when a woman “needs” a man are over.
Many single women around the world find success, fulfillment, and love – without a guy by their side. Can a woman be happy without a man? She can. Here are ten reasons why you don’t need a man.
Reasons why you don’t need a man
1. He will not save you
Many of us grew up in fairy tales where the Prince saves the Princess, and they both live happily ever after. Even though we know real life is far from that, there’s still a part of us waiting for it to happen.
Let’s face it; life can be challenging. It’s a comforting thought that one person can come along and make things better. But the truth is, no one will fall and save you. No one will take care of you. You will have to go out there and work for what you want.
Because in the long run, only you can achieve your dreams or realize your ambitions. Only you can change your situation. Only you can save yourself.
That doesn’t mean you have to do it alone, but it’s essential to understand that it’s fundamentally about you. We are very focused on the partner who completes our world. But this concept itself is dangerous. It gives someone else too much power over your consent.
Expressions like “your other half” or “you complete me” show that you are not alone. As romantic as they sound, concepts like twin flames (souls split in two) lead us to rely on the other and see ourselves as broken and incomplete.
So repeat after me, “I don’t need a man to complete me.”
2. Being in the wrong relationship takes away from you rather than adding to it
This article is not about hurting men. Nor does he hate relationships. Both can be pretty beautiful.
But it’s about taking off the rose-colored glasses, the role of romantic relationships in our lives, and the idealized status they’re often given.
The truth is, the wrong attitude will do you more harm than good. The sad reality is that many women end up with a guy who doesn’t treat them right because they feel deep down that they need a man. And when you think it, sometimes any man will.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that being in a bad relationship is better than being alone.
If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you’re giving your time and energy to someone who doesn’t value you. Finding yourself in a toxic relationship can seriously affect your self-esteem and self-worth.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you need a man to be fulfilled. Because if he’s not the right person, if anything, he might hold you back.
3. other people in your life deserve your time
Being in a relationship takes a lot of time and energy. You only focus on one person and forget the others. But other people in your life deserve attention.
The first is yourself. It would help if you always took time to work on yourself. Travel, and learn new things and skills. Learn about your mind and how it works. Be active. You can never be too educated or too healthy.
Your friends and family also deserve attention. These are the most important people in your life. They are with you in any situation. Take them out to lunch.
See what’s going on in their lives. Maybe you can help them with something. Time is the only thing in life you can’t get back, so spend it wisely. Spend it on valuable people.
Don’t waste your time thinking you need a man or get into a relationship with the wrong man.
4. Love comes in many forms
We all need human relationships and love in our lives.
As Emiliana Simon-Thomas, Ph.D., Science Director of the Center for Big Good Science at the University of California, Berkeley, says:
“Human beings are an ultra-social species — and our nervous systems expect to have others around us,”
But while being around others makes us healthier and happier, these strong connections can come from various sources. Romantic love is far from everything.
Love and connection from friendship, family, and community can be just as beneficial as the love of a man in your life. We shouldn’t limit ourselves to finding happiness only in romantic relationships because it comes in many packages.
5. The most important relationship you will have in life will be with yourself
I’m not trying to sound like a Hallmark Christmas movie, but it’s true…
The most important relationship you will ever have in your entire life is the one you have with yourself. He is the only one guaranteed to be with you from the cradle to the grave. That attitude can never be taken away from you.
I’m not going to tell you that you must learn to love yourself before you can love someone else. Because I don’t think that’s strictly true.
But the truth is, the better your relationship with yourself, the easier it is to build healthy, strong, and happy relationships with others in your life.
Therefore, it should always be the main focus. The more you develop self-love and self-esteem, the less likely you will feel the need to have a man in your life to offer you validation.
6. You can focus on your goals
Whether it’s your career, passions, or ambitions, not having a man in your life can give you time, energy, and focus to focus elsewhere.
Sometimes we hide in relationships rather than roll up our sleeves and get the job done. Romantic relationships require sacrifice and can be distracting.
If you don’t have a man in your life, your time is yours. You can dedicate it to your growth and development. Your decisions can be spectacularly selfish and dedicated only to what is best for you.
7. You will understand the importance of financial independence
Something many women today can confidently say is something our ancestors couldn’t. You don’t need a man to provide for you.
Throughout the ages, countless women have had no choice but to find a man and marry to survive. Without the option to work and support herself, she relied on being under a man’s roof for basics like safety and shelter.
Not only have times changed, but studies have even found that women earn more when they’re single than when they’re married.
Not relying on others and discovering your financial independence proves that you don’t need a man.
8. You learn to fulfill your own needs
Your financial needs aren’t the only thing you learn to fulfill as a single woman. True independence is knowing how to meet your own needs in life, whether they are physical, financial, emotional, or more.
What does it mean when a woman says she doesn’t need a man? It certainly doesn’t mean she hates men or doesn’t want a man in her life.
This doesn’t mean not getting support or help – because we all need it. But it’s about proving that you can rely on yourself to move through any situation you might find yourself in.
Whether it’s something practical like fixing your car’s brakes (Yes, I did that once with the help of a Youtube video) or knowing how to calm yourself down, assert yourself and empower yourself.
It’s empowering when you stop looking to others and realize that you can be responsible for your own needs rather than shifting that responsibility onto someone else.
9. You alone understand the power of time
Learning to feel truly comfortable when you are alone is enormous. There is a big difference between being alone and being alone. Chronic loneliness is not suitable for us. But it is pushing away certain anxiety that can come from being alone.
Instead of sitting with ourselves, our emotions, and our thoughts, it is straightforward to get distracted in life. We can get so busy trying to fill every second of the day that we forget to sit still and be.
When alone, we can reflect on who we are and what is most important to us. This is a priceless gift. It’s harder to understand yourself when you don’t spend quality time with yourself. Not having a man in your life can open you up to other aspects of self-discovery.
10. Because there is more to life than finding a man
Despite what rom-coms might try to convince us otherwise, there’s more to life than just finding a man.
How much more?
Studies have shown that marriage accounts for only 2 percent of later-life subjective well-being. So the other 98% of fulfillment comes from somewhere else.
It comes from finding true purpose, building strong social relationships, a healthy body and mind, and the 1001 life experiences that await us all.
In the words of author Emery Allen:
“There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of incredible time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else.
“Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot.
“Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.”
How can I stop needing a man?
Need and want are very different things. When it comes to feeling like we need a romantic partner to function, you’re starting to move into the cooperative territory.
While having a significant other in your life can bring much joy, looking for a man to make you happy will always get you down.
You will be disappointed if you are looking for happiness through a relationship. If you look to someone to give it to you, you will never find satisfaction and fulfillment.
Instead, focus on developing yourself as a person first. Then you won’t need a man to “complete you.”
You will enjoy the benefits of a fulfilling partnership without having to depend on another person for your entire existence.
If you’re having trouble letting go of the feeling that you need a man in your life, here are some steps you can take:
Look at your beliefs about yourself, relationships, and love
The countless stories we form about ourselves and our place in the world lie in the subconscious of our brains. These continue to create beliefs that silently shape our thoughts, feelings, and actions.
But in reality, most of these beliefs are not valid. We have assumed them good from limited experiences or have been taught them by the people in our lives and society.
They are not necessarily based on facts or reality. Moreover, they can harm us. For example, maybe if you don’t have a man in your life, you believe you’re not worthy. Or you think you’re failing without someone by your side.
To get rid of unhelpful beliefs, you need to question your beliefs about yourself and your thoughts about relationships and love that may be holding you back.
Stop expecting too much from a relationship
Have you ever asked yourself why love is so difficult? Why can’t you be what you imagined growing up? Or at least make sense…
You may tell yourself that you don’t need a man but struggle to accept and believe that on a deeper level. So you continue to set very high expectations for a man to meet your needs, only to have them dashed repeatedly.
I want to suggest doing something different.
This is something I learned from world-renowned shaman Ruda Iandê. She taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe.
Many of us sabotage ourselves and deceive ourselves for years, preventing us from meeting a partner who can truly fulfill us.
As Ruda explains in this mind-blowing free video, many of us pursue love in a toxic way and end up getting stabbed in the back.
We get stuck in terrible relationships or on empty dates, never finding what we’re looking for, and continuing to feel terrible about things like not meeting the right people.
We fall in love with an idealized version of someone instead of the natural person. We try to “fix” our partners and destroy the relationship. We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them and feel doubly bad.
Ruda’s teachings gave me a whole new perspective.
As I watched, I felt like someone understood my struggles to find and nurture a love for the first time and finally offered a real, practical solution.
If you’re done with unsatisfying dating, empty relationships, frustrating relationships, and having your hopes repeatedly dashed, this is a message you need to hear.
I guarantee you will not be disappointed.
Fill in the blanks of your life
Self-responsibility is the key to not needing a man. My friend jokingly commented on Instagram the other day, “Life is boring if you’re not in love with being amazed.”
There is a lot of truth in this. We all have to admit that part of our obsession with romantic love is the undeniable high it can sometimes bring.
But it’s not the only thing in your life that creates this feeling. Moreover, this high will always be temporary. Your interests, career, friendships, etc. building helps minimize your emphasis on any person or thing.
That’s why working towards a complete and balanced life can help create the mindset of “I don’t need a man.”
Many people think they need someone in their life to feel complete. The truth is, the only person you need is yourself. You’re the only person you can’t run away from.
If others add positive energy to your life, they are welcome to stay. Those who make you feel bad can pack up and leave. You don’t need them, just like you don’t need a man to live your life. You can handle things well on your own.
So don’t fool yourself into thinking you need a man. Not really. You can live a happy life without it. A man will not magically solve all your problems.
The wrong man will give you more problems. So enjoy life, remember who you are, and make yourself happy.